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  1. Posted: July 7, 2015In: Public

    A group of nerdy teen boys who are sick of being picked on by the bigger kids and being rejected by the hot girl decide to shoot up the school danc

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 9, 2015 at 8:49 am

    As Nir Shelter said. Why would anyone pay money to see a make believe story like this in a theater, when they can see the real thing for free on TV during a newscast?

    As Nir Shelter said. Why would anyone pay money to see a make believe story like this in a theater, when they can see the real thing for free on TV during a newscast?

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  2. Posted: July 6, 2015In: Public

    Protected: A studious

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 8, 2015 at 12:38 am

    As Nir Shelter said. "Studious" is more of a character strength in relation to his long term goal of going to college by the end of the plot. But it does not seem to fit well as a character flaw in relation to the rest of the logline scenario. That is, it doesn't suggest a vulnerability that will beRead more

    As Nir Shelter said. “Studious” is more of a character strength in relation to his long term goal of going to college by the end of the plot. But it does not seem to fit well as a character flaw in relation to the rest of the logline scenario. That is, it doesn’t suggest a vulnerability that will be exploited by the (vague) inciting incident, getting involved with an “unruly group of peers”. It suggests he will reverse his usual course of behavior for the summer and that may created internal subjective conflicts. Okay, but the focus of a logline is not on internal conflicts but rather on external ones.

    What is his character flaw that makes him vulnerable to coming under the influence of an “unruly group of peers”. (And why are they only peers and not “friends”?)

    Well, there’s a vague possibility of any identity crisis “struggles to reinvent himself”. But isn’t the struggle to discover or create an identity, one’s true self, a universal problem for all kids at that age, a generic issue in all coming of age stories? What is so unique about his struggle to “reinvent himself” that distinguishes this story from the pile of other coming of age scripts on script readers’ desks?

    And, once again, “struggles to reinvent himself” is an internal, subjective issue. Films are a visual medium. What’s the visual for “struggles to reinvent himself”? What is the external problem of that is a manifestation, a consequence of the internal problem? What becomes his objective struggle as a result of his subjective struggle?

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  3. Posted: July 6, 2015In: Public

    Protected: A studious

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 6, 2015 at 11:52 pm

    "Superbad" and "Garden State" were scripted by people (Seth Rogen, Zach Braff) who were already established in showbiz. So they had the benefit of working relationships, a network of people in the biz through whom to pitch the script. They weren't outsiders, weren't nobodies; they didn't need a loglRead more

    “Superbad” and “Garden State” were scripted by people (Seth Rogen, Zach Braff) who were already established in showbiz. So they had the benefit of working relationships, a network of people in the biz through whom to pitch the script. They weren’t outsiders, weren’t nobodies; they didn’t need a logline that stood out. (And writer beware: do not assume the loglines for the movies at IMDB are the loglines originally used to pitch the script.)

    Is your script adapted from a book? Do you have contacts in the industry to whom you can show the script, who can pass your script to someone who has the clout to greenlight a project?

    If you do, great. Your script has a leg up on 97%+ of the hundreds of YA/coming of age genre scripts jostling for recognition and the green light. If you don’t, then exactly what is there in your script — and this logline — that makes it stand out from the herd, a hook that grabs attention?

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