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  1. Posted: June 24, 2015In: Public

    When a beautiful young woman is found brutally murdered, a detective must travel to the remote island to find the killer before they kill again!

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 25, 2015 at 7:18 am

    What Nir Shelter and FFF said. There is nothing that stands out, that differentiates this story from all the other stories about detectives tracking down a murderer. (And how does the detective know the murderer will kill again?)

    What Nir Shelter and FFF said. There is nothing that stands out, that differentiates this story from all the other stories about detectives tracking down a murderer.

    (And how does the detective know the murderer will kill again?)

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  2. Posted: June 23, 2015In: Public

    When a woman?s badly burnt body is discovered, an occult writer investigates a strange Christian sect. She must escape the cult and expose their evil.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 24, 2015 at 10:33 pm

    James Bond and Indiana Jones are exceptions to the general rule because they are franchise characters. Is this the logline for a film franchise? Sgt. Howie is motivated by more than curiosity; it's his job to solve the mystery, bring the guilty to justice. More to the point, he's a devout ChristianRead more

    James Bond and Indiana Jones are exceptions to the general rule because they are franchise characters. Is this the logline for a film franchise?

    Sgt. Howie is motivated by more than curiosity; it’s his job to solve the mystery, bring the guilty to justice. More to the point, he’s a devout Christian and celibate; the Celtic rituals and sexual mores of the locals deeply offend his morality and sensibility — that’s his subjective conflict. Is your reporter religious? IOW: what internal, subjective conflict is induced by her encounter with the cult?

    I guess that’s the key point: the situation must not only create an external conflict but an internal one. And the internal one usually arises because of a character flaw. Why? What’s the purpose of the character flaw? What’s the point? Well, one point is having an (objective) internal conflict to complement an (subjective) external one that amplifies overall dramatic tension. It also enhances dramatic suspense; that is, it amplifies the fear in the audience’s mind that the protagonist may fail.

    So what’s Ripley’s internal conflict? To begin with, she’s a fairly strong character. As the safety officer her prudent judgement calls are right while everyone is wrong. But she initially complies with bad orders, but then does she have much choice, she’s overruled by the captain? Finally, Ripley must take charge and muster every resource (internally and externally) to eventually go face-to-face with the alien. She’s the last chance for a character to succeed where everyone else has failed.

    (Her character arc in stronger in the sequel: she must face down her nightmares, literally.)

    So I guess the question to ask is: what internal conflict does the situation put the writer in?

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  3. Posted: June 22, 2015In: Public

    After being posted to a Greenlandic prison for a temporary placement, a young doctor must help the inmates with their personal problems while dealing with some unruly inmates and unsympathetic guards

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 24, 2015 at 12:11 am

    But the "Ninth Configuration" is set in an insane asylum -- not a prison. Big, big difference. And "Killer Kane" is pretending to be a psychiatrist -- not a medical doctor. Another big difference. Is your protagonist a medical doctor or a shrink?

    But the “Ninth Configuration” is set in an insane asylum — not a prison. Big, big difference.

    And “Killer Kane” is pretending to be a psychiatrist — not a medical doctor. Another big difference. Is your protagonist a medical doctor or a shrink?

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