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  1. Posted: May 14, 2015In: Public

    When a troubled American expatriate is offered work at the Tengen Hotel, he soon discovers that Tokyo’s most exclusive hotel is also the base of operations for a major crime syndicate. Now embroiled in their conspiracy to appropriate control over the city, the expatriate must choose between duty or sentiment as both his mettle and loyalty are put to the test.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 14, 2015 at 3:21 am

    What Richiev said. The logline needs to be more specific on the plot points. I've read of the term diaspora referring to other groups dispersed from their homeland for one reason or another, but rarely to American citizens. I believe the more common term for Americans living abroad is expatriate.

    What Richiev said. The logline needs to be more specific on the plot points.

    I’ve read of the term diaspora referring to other groups dispersed from their homeland for one reason or another, but rarely to American citizens. I believe the more common term for Americans living abroad is expatriate.

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  2. Posted: May 12, 2015In: Public

    When three young men apart of the lad sub-culture beat up a civilian and steal his friend's camera, we become a fly-on-the-wall as we see what drives these three young men to do what they do as tensions arise as the night winds down, it leads to an implosion which devastates the community around them.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 13, 2015 at 10:34 pm

    I take the fly-on-the-wall via a stolen camera as a framing device for the story. And as a camera buff myself who litters Flickr by the megapixel, I'm intrigued by the dramatic possibilities of that device. But not yet hooked. What will hook my attention, make me want to read the script, watch the mRead more

    I take the fly-on-the-wall via a stolen camera as a framing device for the story. And as a camera buff myself who litters Flickr by the megapixel, I’m intrigued by the dramatic possibilities of that device.

    But not yet hooked.

    What will hook my attention, make me want to read the script, watch the movie is a sense of the plot that unfolds through that framing device. As a result of stealing the camera, what plot unfolds? “Tensions…implosion…” don’t give me a clear cut idea of what that the plot is.

    So you’ve got me interested. Now I suggest you zoom in, focus, give me a snapshot of the plot.

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  3. Posted: May 11, 2015In: Public

    A young woman inadvertantly becomes the reluctant host to a corporeol lifeform her father agreed to transport across the galaxy on their cargo ship and discovers that the alien is on the run from enemies of the intergalactic coalition who want to use it's powers to over throw the government. She must use her new found abilities to save herself and everything and everyone she loves.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 13, 2015 at 11:00 am

    I would like to suggest that one solution to this logine is: think franchise. It seems to me there is not only way too much detail in the logline, there is also too much incident, too much story to cram into one 2 hour movie. So why not break it out into several movies? In the first movie, establishRead more

    I would like to suggest that one solution to this logine is: think franchise.

    It seems to me there is not only way too much detail in the logline, there is also too much incident, too much story to cram into one 2 hour movie. So why not break it out into several movies? In the first movie, establish central conceit, the story hook: a young woman is compelled to be a galactic mule/host for an alien species. Develop the plot, end the movie on a cliffhanger beat — that’s what George Lucas did when he conceived the Star Wars franchise.

    fwiw.

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