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  1. Posted: May 1, 2015In: Student Loglines

    When a self-centered youth's family is captured by an invading army, he trains as a knight before setting out to rescue them. As the kingdom teeters on the brink of collapse, the fate of both his family and kingdom depend upon a single decision. (Improved – hopefully)

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 3, 2015 at 9:39 am

    Better, but... If he's self-centered to begin with, why would he rescue anyone? Wouldn't a self-centered kid, by nature, be inclined not to come to the rescue of anyone, including his family? Isn't that part and parcel of what it means to be self-centered? And if he does flip, does a 180, starts actRead more

    Better, but…

    If he’s self-centered to begin with, why would he rescue anyone? Wouldn’t a self-centered kid, by nature, be inclined not to come to the rescue of anyone, including his family? Isn’t that part and parcel of what it means to be self-centered?

    And if he does flip, does a 180, starts acting selflessly as a result of the inciting incident, then it would seem that his character arc is more or less complete by the beginning of the 2nd Act.

    A character flaw is a dramatic gimmick to create and heighten suspense. How? By linking it to the objective goal: the character can’t achieve his goal if he doesn’t overcome his flaw. The dramatic purpose of the flaw is to create doubt, uncertainty as to whether the character will succeed.

    The flaw works as a dramatic device to the degree the answer to the question comes as late in the story as possible, certainly no sooner than the end of Act 2. But if the question has already been answered by the beginning of Act 2, then what is there for the audience to worry about in terms of a flaw?

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  2. Posted: May 1, 2015In: Public

    ?When an inexperienced journalist gets assigned to a military unit fighting in the second US civil war, he will have to fill the unlikely role of diplomat in order to prevent the war from reaching his home town.?

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 2, 2015 at 7:02 am

    I agree, you can't cram the casus belli into the logline. I was asking as a point of inquiry, to get a better sense of the story. However, I fear "'second U.S. civil war" may cause readers' minds to jump the track, shift focus from the plot as mine did. Civil War 2.0 -- WTF?! What is that about? HowRead more

    I agree, you can’t cram the casus belli into the logline. I was asking as a point of inquiry, to get a better sense of the story.

    However, I fear “‘second U.S. civil war” may cause readers’ minds to jump the track, shift focus from the plot as mine did. Civil War 2.0 — WTF?! What is that about? How did that happen? Those questions are more likely to be on people’s minds than questions about the protagonist playing diplomat and the fate of his hometown.

    Just saying.

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  3. Posted: May 1, 2015In: Public

    ?When an inexperienced journalist gets assigned to a military unit fighting in the second US civil war, he will have to fill the unlikely role of diplomat in order to prevent the war from reaching his home town.?

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 1, 2015 at 11:40 pm

    >>> so I think everyone would be pretty used to it as it?s a common part of everyday life For the characters. But not to anyone reading the logline, not to the potential viewing audience. The logline raises the question: what was the casus belli? It may be backstory but doesn't it figure into the cuRead more

    >>> so I think everyone would be pretty used to it as it?s a common part of everyday life

    For the characters. But not to anyone reading the logline, not to the potential viewing audience.

    The logline raises the question: what was the casus belli? It may be backstory but doesn’t it figure into the current situation and the ensuing plot?

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