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  1. Posted: May 1, 2015In: Student Loglines

    When a self-centered youth's family is captured by an invading army, he trains as a knight before setting out to rescue them. As the kingdom teeters on the brink of collapse, the fate of both his family and kingdom depend upon a single decision. (Improved – hopefully)

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 4, 2015 at 7:35 am

    I like pacifist better than callous. In the context of war, its seems to me that callousness is an asset, not a liability. It might not make him a better person, but it makes him a better fighter.

    I like pacifist better than callous. In the context of war, its seems to me that callousness is an asset, not a liability. It might not make him a better person, but it makes him a better fighter.

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  2. Posted: May 2, 2015In: Public

    After she finds divorce papers, a desperate make-up artist goes to extreme measures to turn herself into her husbands ideal woman, but when she discovers that he actually dreams of becoming a woman she has to face what is really keeping them together.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 3, 2015 at 11:28 am

    While the general rule is that a logline (and story) should have one, and only one, designated protagonist, I think there can be exceptions in relationship stories. Such as this one. The big reveal throws their relationship in crisis, compels both characters to make painful journeys of psychologicalRead more

    While the general rule is that a logline (and story) should have one, and only one, designated protagonist, I think there can be exceptions in relationship stories. Such as this one. The big reveal throws their relationship in crisis, compels both characters to make painful journeys of psychological transformation. I suggest that to focus on her is to miss half the story.

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  3. Posted: May 1, 2015In: Public

    ?When an inexperienced journalist gets assigned to a military unit fighting in the second US civil war, he will have to fill the unlikely role of diplomat in order to prevent the war from reaching his home town.?

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 3, 2015 at 11:22 am

    You assign the journalist a flaw of "inexperienced". Inexperienced as what -- a journalist? If so, how does being an inexperienced journalist jeopardize his "diplomatic mission"? It would seem that "diplomatic mission" requires him to do something that even if here were an "experienced" journalist hRead more

    You assign the journalist a flaw of “inexperienced”. Inexperienced as what — a journalist? If so, how does being an inexperienced journalist jeopardize his “diplomatic mission”?

    It would seem that “diplomatic mission” requires him to do something that even if here were an “experienced” journalist he would have no competence, no training to do. Conducting “diplomatic missions” is not in the job definition of a journalist, not a core subject in the curriculum.

    In other words his experience or lack thereof as a journalist seems irrelevant to his “diplomatic mission”.

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