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  1. Posted: April 28, 2015In: Public

    A domestic robot is forced to learn independence and survival skills after discovering it has been replaced by a newer model

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 29, 2015 at 7:25 am

    Well, after viewing "Ex Machina" I'm not sure I would want to root for a robot. Why would I should I root for this one, a non-human species (which it is)? What makes it so special that I should care about its fate? Still the concept has potential. It's a raw gem that needs cutting and polishing. ForRead more

    Well, after viewing “Ex Machina” I’m not sure I would want to root for a robot. Why would I should I root for this one, a non-human species (which it is)? What makes it so special that I should care about its fate?

    Still the concept has potential. It’s a raw gem that needs cutting and polishing. For example, while the robot has a problem– survival as an autonomous entity– it’s rather vague, lacks specificity — and urgency. The story might benefit from a more specific, more compelling hook, a je ne sais quoi, some unique threat to its survival. Like it has 24 hours to decrypt and disable the code segment that will cause its system to crash — a fail-safe mechanism built in by the manufacturer to obviate the problem of ‘free range’ robots. Or it’s being hounded by a bounty hunter. Or both.

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: April 29, 2015In: Public

    When a man with recurrent dreams of being alone in an empty room finds out that the world he knows is just a creation of his imagination and that there?s another world where he lives and doesnt? recognize, he will get stuck in the middle with some huge identity problems.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 29, 2015 at 7:06 am

    As FFF said. The logline posits a situation, but doesn't present a plot. What does he do when he finds out his 'real' world is an illusion? What becomes his objective goal? Who or what opposes that goal? What are the stakes? What is the worst thing that can happen to him, will happen to him, if he fRead more

    As FFF said. The logline posits a situation, but doesn’t present a plot. What does he do when he finds out his ‘real’ world is an illusion? What becomes his objective goal? Who or what opposes that goal? What are the stakes? What is the worst thing that can happen to him, will happen to him, if he fails? (Identity crisis may be a complication, a consequence of his problem, but is that as bad as it gets for him?)

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  3. Posted: April 29, 2015In: Public

    When mysterious deaths in a new subway rail yard seem connected to an ancient curse, a stiff subsurface engineer must team up with a visionary astro-archeologist to secure the tunnel before the subway line opening.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 29, 2015 at 6:42 am

    If they don't stop the killings, is the subway line going to open anyway? If so, the fate of the subway is not contingent for the purpose of the logline. IOW: why must they stop the killings before the subway line opens? And why is the subsurface engineer described as "constant"? Is it a character fRead more

    If they don’t stop the killings, is the subway line going to open anyway? If so, the fate of the subway is not contingent for the purpose of the logline. IOW: why must they stop the killings before the subway line opens?

    And why is the subsurface engineer described as “constant”? Is it a character flaw or strength? If it’s a character strength, then is there a character flaw that jeopardizes the mission?

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