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A young woman struggles to survive when a creature from Guaran? legend is unleashed on a rural Louisiana town.
While it may be central to the story, It's likely most readers of the logline will be puzzled rather than intrigued by the explicit reference to the Guaran?. I surmise that most people are clueless about the Guaran? are. And if they do know of the indigenous tribe, the term only creates further confRead more
While it may be central to the story, It’s likely most readers of the logline will be puzzled rather than intrigued by the explicit reference to the Guaran?. I surmise that most people are clueless about the Guaran? are. And if they do know of the indigenous tribe, the term only creates further confusion, rather clarity, as it did in my mind: What is a legendary animal from South American doing in Louisiana? So I suggest using the term “legendary creature” or “mythical creature”.
Also “struggles to survive” is vague, needs specificity. Of course, she has to struggle to survive. Doesn’t every character in every movie of this genre? It comes with the territory of the plot. So what is so unique, different about her struggle? What makes her struggle stand out from all the other struggles in all the other scripts being written in this genre?
Which is to say: given the unleashing of the legendary creature, what must she do about it (besides merely survive)? What is her objective goal?
And what else/who else is at stake in her struggle? (She can’t be the only one whose life is put in jeopardy? Is it not the case that she is also fighting to save other people’s lives, her family, friends, community?
See lessWhen mysterious deaths in a new subway rail yard seem connected to an ancient curse, a stiff subsurface engineer must team up with a visionary astro-archeologist to secure the tunnel before the subway line opening.
Better, but... I'm guessing that the digging of the subway disturbs some sacred site. That's the cause-and-effect relationship between the subway digging and the curse. If that is the case, I suggest the causal link be made clearer. If I'm guessing wrong then what is the cause-and-effect relationshiRead more
Better, but…
I’m guessing that the digging of the subway disturbs some sacred site. That’s the cause-and-effect relationship between the subway digging and the curse. If that is the case, I suggest the causal link be made clearer. If I’m guessing wrong then what is the cause-and-effect relationship between the digging and the curse? What specifically invokes the curse?
I’m not asking you to give away the story, how it ends. I’m only asking what, specifically, creates the story, the plot.
See lessUpdated: The editor of a newspaper in a small city begins printing fanciful stories to sell more papers; in the process, she stumbles on to a genuine corruption scandal with national implications.
Okay. My small town was certified small, population fewer than 1,000 at the time. If your character is emulating Rupert Murdoch's business model, well, maybe it will work in a media market of the size you envision. However, if it's set in the present, then the premise is somewhat undermined by the cRead more
Okay. My small town was certified small, population fewer than 1,000 at the time.
If your character is emulating Rupert Murdoch’s business model, well, maybe it will work in a media market of the size you envision. However, if it’s set in the present, then the premise is somewhat undermined by the competition of even juicer gossip (albeit not local) and more fanciful stories on the Internet.
But the critical issue that I suggest needs to be clarified in the logline is what the editor-publisher does after she stumbles on an inconvenient truth that is stranger than her fictions — and no one believes her. After publishing so many falsehoods, why would they?
fwiw.
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