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  1. Posted: April 2, 2015In: Public

    A teen discovers a dark secret about his family, he must go on a perilous journey in order to save not only himself, but an entire world.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 2, 2015 at 2:39 am

    "A dark secret" is non-specific, vague. Heroic characters are always discovering dark secrets. That's part of their job description. It's in the standard Hero checklist of action items. (Right below "Be curious" and above "Save the world") What makes this dark secret unique, so urgent that the fateRead more

    “A dark secret” is non-specific, vague. Heroic characters are always discovering dark secrets. That’s part of their job description. It’s in the standard Hero checklist of action items. (Right below “Be curious” and above “Save the world”)

    What makes this dark secret unique, so urgent that the fate of the world hangs in the balance? That only he can save the world?

    And what is the relationship between the secret and his character flaw? What personal issue will the mission compel him to confront? How must he first save himself before he can save the world?

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  2. Posted: April 1, 2015In: Public

    A couple move into a new house. Not long after, a newborn in left on their doorstep. They turn to their families to raise this child, which neither is ready for. The two must learn what it?s like to be parents. Luckily, they have the support of their new neighbor and their families.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 1, 2015 at 5:11 am

    This logline gives away the ending: "The two must learn what it?s like to be parents. Luckily, they have the support of their new neighbor and their families." The general rule is that a logline should never give away the ending.

    This logline gives away the ending:

    “The two must learn what it?s like to be parents. Luckily, they have the support of their new neighbor and their families.”

    The general rule is that a logline should never give away the ending.

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  3. Posted: March 31, 2015In: Public

    An egocentric writer translates a novel that details the impending torture of him and his family unless he figures out who wrote it and makes amends.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 1, 2015 at 5:02 am

    Sounds similar to "Stranger than Fiction". The difference being that the victim is fated to be murdered, not tortured. And the victim/protagonist is a really a nice guy, even for an IRS auditor; we, the audience, want him to live. So, as Nir Shelter noted, why would the audience root for the egocentRead more

    Sounds similar to “Stranger than Fiction”. The difference being that the victim is fated to be murdered, not tortured. And the victim/protagonist is a really a nice guy, even for an IRS auditor; we, the audience, want him to live.

    So, as Nir Shelter noted, why would the audience root for the egocentric writer? His family, yes, but since they seem like innocent victims of his own character flaw, it make him even less sympathetic.

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