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An estranged couple decides for a last-chance counseling retreat in a forest just to meet a therapist who reveals their secrets that should rather have remained buried
Seems to me like the unhappy couple need to cooperate with each other, not confront each other. And why doesn't the psycho kill them on the spot? There goes the 2nd act and the rest of the movie, yes, but there's got to be a reason why the psycho (conveniently for the sake of script) only takes themRead more
Seems to me like the unhappy couple need to cooperate with each other, not confront each other.
And why doesn’t the psycho kill them on the spot? There goes the 2nd act and the rest of the movie, yes, but there’s got to be a reason why the psycho (conveniently for the sake of script) only takes them hostage. What is it?
See lessAfter his family is kidnapped and sold to English slavers by renegade Fante tribesmen, Ashanti tribal warrior Mwabo embarks on a perilous voyage across the Atlantic to the sugarcane plantations of modern day Jamaica in search of his wife and son, where he leads a slave rebellion against the tyrannical white masters to reclaim his family's freedom and liberate his fellow Africans from the misery of enslavement.
The essence of your concept, even as a mini-series seems to boil down to: "A warrior embarks on a perilous journey across the Atlantic to free his kidnapped family from slavery on a sugarcane plantation in Jamaica." (24 words) The inciting incident is implicit in "kidnapped family". The objective goRead more
The essence of your concept, even as a mini-series seems to boil down to:
“A warrior embarks on a perilous journey across the Atlantic to free his kidnapped family from slavery on a sugarcane plantation in Jamaica.” (24 words)
The inciting incident is implicit in “kidnapped family”.
The objective goal and stakes are clear: free his family from slavery.
It isn’t necessary to name the tribe in the logline. It’s central to the story, of course, but for the purposes of a logline, it’s not essential. Nor is it necessary to name the main character in a logline. What is necessary is to clearly define the character and you have: he’s a warrior.
The rebellion is the means to the objective goal, but not the objective goal — is it not? By that I mean, his motivation to take the journey is to free his family by whatever means it takes. That’s his primary objective goal.When he finally reaches Jamaica, he discovers that “what means it takes” will require instigating a rebellion. This, of course, ups the ante, the risk, the conflict. All good ingredients for a compelling — and marketable — story. But isn’t the rebellion a means to an end: the liberation of his family. That is, the rebellion is not the original reason he takes the hazardous voyage. It something he discovers he must do to free his family.
My point is that a logline sketches a plot. And a plot should be single in the purpose, about one objective goal of its main character.
Finally, is this based upon an actual historical event? Either way, as suggested by Gabor, you might want to preface the logline to indicate the historical period, like “In 17??, a warrior embarks…” (“Modern Jamaica” is confusing.)
fwiw
See lessWhen a broken film critic must find the most ascetic Persan director and persuade him to shoot an unrestrained blockbuster in Paris, he pick the wrong man and have to deal with him to save his career.
What's the genre? Is this a comedy or to be played with a straight face, as a drama? In any event, the logline is too complicated. It has too many twists and turns to figure out where the story is going. And I'm sure how to straighten it out. What is the is the film critic's single objective goal, tRead more
What’s the genre? Is this a comedy or to be played with a straight face, as a drama?
In any event, the logline is too complicated. It has too many twists and turns to figure out where the story is going. And I’m sure how to straighten it out.
What is the is the film critic’s single objective goal, the one — not two, not three — but ONE thing he must accomplish by the end of the film to declare success?
See less