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When a reckless special agent, who’s enhanced with mind control technology, is hacked and made to kill his own team, he must expose his would-be puppeteers to prove his innocence, but the closer he gets, the more he finds himself asking: Is he a puppet, and, if so, who’s pulling the strings?
That he was a puppeteer was the most interesting aspect of the premise to me! I don't understand what thematic idea you are trying to work out, what you envision to be the framing or unifying concept of your story. You keep posting loglines that are variations on the theme of mind control and manipuRead more
That he was a puppeteer was the most interesting aspect of the premise to me!
I don’t understand what thematic idea you are trying to work out, what you envision to be the framing or unifying concept of your story. You keep posting loglines that are variations on the theme of mind control and manipulation. Obviously, you’ve got an itch you want to scratch on mind contorl, but I’m not sure what it is.
This logline gives me an itch I’d like to have scratched in a film about the implications, moral dilemmas, and consequences of mind control, but apparently it is not the same itch as yours. So I don’t know what else to say.
See lessA woman comes home to finds a wounded fugitive in her house. His partner has taken her daughter. The woman must help the man get medical attention and escape if she ever wants to see her daughter again.
>>he escapes her phone rings and her daughter has just been at a friend?s house. Ye ol' bait and switch routine on the audience. Might work for a short film. But if I had to sit through a 90 minute feature film only to discover that the big reveal was that the daughter had never been abducted, was nRead more
>>he escapes her phone rings and her daughter has just been at a friend?s house.
Ye ol’ bait and switch routine on the audience. Might work for a short film. But if I had to sit through a 90 minute feature film only to discover that the big reveal was that the daughter had never been abducted, was never in any danger, I would feel as cheated and used as the woman.
Others’ mileage may differ.
See lessWhen a reckless special agent, who’s enhanced with mind control technology, is hacked and made to kill his own team, he must expose his would-be puppeteers to prove his innocence, but the closer he gets, the more he finds himself asking: Is he a puppet, and, if so, who’s pulling the strings?
>>in Pulp Fiction John Travolta is a mob killer Killing people who are not saints, not innocent victims. And he gets killed himself by a guy being victimized by his mob boss -- street justice is done. James Bond is fighting bad guys, righting various wrongs in the world -- and he lives a glamorous lRead more
>>in Pulp Fiction John Travolta is a mob killer
Killing people who are not saints, not innocent victims. And he gets killed himself by a guy being victimized by his mob boss — street justice is done.
James Bond is fighting bad guys, righting various wrongs in the world — and he lives a glamorous lifestyle in between. He exudes a pheromone that makes him irresistible to beautiful women. So I can root for him. Heck, I wish I were him!
Jason Bourne is a quarry, he’s being hunted, and he’s a victim of an agency conspiracy which has robbed him of the memory of his identity. He must right the wrong done to him. So I can root for him, too.
What wrong must your protagonist make right?
As I said, I think you have a very promising premise with the idea of mind control technology. But I fail to see how your logline follows through the logical and dramatic promise entailed in your premise.
And “inexperienced” doesn’t really cut it for me as a character flaw. Inexperience is an extrinsic character problem, a complication: we all have no choice but to start from zero knowledge and skill in whatever we assay to do. That’s not a flaw, that’s an unavoidable circumstance of life.
My understanding of a character flaw is that it is intrinsic. It is an internal attitude, habit, point of view that initially the character is in denial of, resists changing.
Now if the protagonist is “inexperienced” because he’s been resisting training or he’s lazy, that inexperience may be a symptom of a character flaw, but it is not the flaw. It is a consequence of something deeper, something intrinsic that causes him to fail to acquire the necessary experience.
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