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A military school cadet must be silenced when she witnesses Cuban-Americans robbing the school?s armory. When she discovers that the guns are to be used to assassinate the president, she has only minutes to stop the killers.
Reviewing the several iterations of the logline, it occurs to me that the aspect of special interest to the author seems to be not the conspiracy, per se, but the protagonist -- it's a woman in a (mostly) male environment. I'm all for more strong protagonist roles for women -- it's scandalous how feRead more
Reviewing the several iterations of the logline, it occurs to me that the aspect of special interest to the author seems to be not the conspiracy, per se, but the protagonist — it’s a woman in a (mostly) male environment. I’m all for more strong protagonist roles for women — it’s scandalous how few there are — but I’m not sure this is a robust enough plot vehicle for such a character.
See lessA military school cadet must be silenced when she witnesses Cuban-Americans robbing the school?s armory. When she discovers that the guns are to be used to assassinate the president, she has only minutes to stop the killers.
Reviewing the several iterations of the logline, it occurs to me that the aspect of special interest to the author seems to be not the conspiracy, per se, but the protagonist -- it's a woman in a (mostly) male environment. I'm all for more strong protagonist roles for women -- it's scandalous how feRead more
Reviewing the several iterations of the logline, it occurs to me that the aspect of special interest to the author seems to be not the conspiracy, per se, but the protagonist — it’s a woman in a (mostly) male environment. I’m all for more strong protagonist roles for women — it’s scandalous how few there are — but I’m not sure this is a robust enough plot vehicle for such a character.
See lessA young candle maker with hidden magic powers teams up with an aloof dragon knight to battle monsters in a dark realm while seeking to rescue her twin brother before a sinister sorcerer uses him to activate an ancient weapon.
When an evil sorcerer kidnaps her brother, a young gypsy who has used her psychic powers to exploit others must learn how to use them to defeat the sorcerer. It seems to me that the premise would benefit from a stronger character arc. That is, she hasn't hidden or repressed her magical powers; ratheRead more
When an evil sorcerer kidnaps her brother, a young gypsy who has used her psychic powers to exploit others must learn how to use them to defeat the sorcerer.
It seems to me that the premise would benefit from a stronger character arc. That is, she hasn’t hidden or repressed her magical powers; rather, she has squandered them, used them for selfish, foolish, negative purposes.
Framed in that way, the aspect of the story that hooks my interest is not that she must rescue her brother — rescue scenarios are a dime a dozen — but that in order to rescue him she must first transform herself. She must learn how to transform all her negative energy into positive energy, to retool her talents for good instead of evil.
And, come to find out, the right way to use her talents is also the hardest way.
fwiw.
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