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  1. Posted: February 13, 2015In: Public

    A mysterious boy is on the run after having his identity discovered. But will he escape from the prospect of the hunters chasing him every second.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 14, 2015 at 6:08 am

    A principal problem I have with the logline is that it hides the game ball. That is, we have no clue as to the factor that drives the players in the plot: his identity. What is there about his identity that makes it so compelling, that others are pursuing him? Why are they investing so much time andRead more

    A principal problem I have with the logline is that it hides the game ball. That is, we have no clue as to the factor that drives the players in the plot: his identity. What is there about his identity that makes it so compelling, that others are pursuing him? Why are they investing so much time and energy in chasing him?

    Related to that is the matter of stakes. What does he stand to gain by eluding capture? What does he stand to lose, to suffer if he’s caught? What is at stake in the pursuit that the audience should become emotionally invested, should care about the outcome?

    Finally the boy’s objective goal, such as it is, is framed in negative terms. So that if he successfully eludes his pursuers, that’s where the film literally runs out of the story. FADEOUT: CREDIT ROLL:

    Or is he eluding escape in order to be able to do something else, to achieve some positive objective? If so, what is it? Why MUST he escape capture?

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  2. Posted: February 13, 2015In: Public

    A mysterious boy is on the run after having his identity discovered. But will he escape from the prospect of the hunters chasing him every second.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 14, 2015 at 6:08 am

    A principal problem I have with the logline is that it hides the game ball. That is, we have no clue as to the factor that drives the players in the plot: his identity. What is there about his identity that makes it so compelling, that others are pursuing him? Why are they investing so much time andRead more

    A principal problem I have with the logline is that it hides the game ball. That is, we have no clue as to the factor that drives the players in the plot: his identity. What is there about his identity that makes it so compelling, that others are pursuing him? Why are they investing so much time and energy in chasing him?

    Related to that is the matter of stakes. What does he stand to gain by eluding capture? What does he stand to lose, to suffer if he’s caught? What is at stake in the pursuit that the audience should become emotionally invested, should care about the outcome?

    Finally the boy’s objective goal, such as it is, is framed in negative terms. So that if he successfully eludes his pursuers, that’s where the film literally runs out of the story. FADEOUT: CREDIT ROLL:

    Or is he eluding escape in order to be able to do something else, to achieve some positive objective? If so, what is it? Why MUST he escape capture?

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      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  3. Posted: February 11, 2015In: Public

    A young candle maker with hidden magic powers teams up with an aloof dragon knight to battle monsters in a dark realm while seeking to rescue her twin brother before a sinister sorcerer uses him to activate an ancient weapon.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 13, 2015 at 12:11 pm

    Richiev, I like your take, too. In that scenario, the last thing she would ever want to do must also be the last thing she (finally) MUST do after all other options have been exhausted. Consequently, that ultimate confrontation with darkness would happen around the end of Act 2 -- it would not occurRead more

    Richiev,

    I like your take, too.

    In that scenario, the last thing she would ever want to do must also be the last thing she (finally) MUST do after all other options have been exhausted. Consequently, that ultimate confrontation with darkness would happen around the end of Act 2 — it would not occur early on or anywhere in the 1st half of Act 2.

    And the physical darkness could imply a corresponding subjective internal “heart of darkness” in herself that she must also confront. (Say, akin to Luke Skywalker confronting his Darth Vader shadow-self in “Return of the Jedi”.)

    The premise has interesting choices.

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