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  1. Posted: February 14, 2015In: Public

    The last Scribe in a technology ruled false utopian future must unite with an android that contains the entirety of human history, before the ruling corporation can enact their final technological control onto the masses.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 15, 2015 at 8:41 am

    I think it would strengthen the logline if the threat that the new device poses were to be clarified, made specific. What, exactly, is at stake? What threat does this "latest device" pose that will make an already bad situation worse (hopeless)? What objective goal does the BBC (Big Bad Corp) seek tRead more

    I think it would strengthen the logline if the threat that the new device poses were to be clarified, made specific. What, exactly, is at stake? What threat does this “latest device” pose that will make an already bad situation worse (hopeless)?

    What objective goal does the BBC (Big Bad Corp) seek to achieve with this “latest device” that it already hasn’t achieved?

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  2. Posted: February 14, 2015In: Public

    The last Scribe in a technology ruled false utopian future must unite with an android that contains the entirety of human history, before the ruling corporation can enact their final technological control onto the masses.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 15, 2015 at 8:41 am

    I think it would strengthen the logline if the threat that the new device poses were to be clarified, made specific. What, exactly, is at stake? What threat does this "latest device" pose that will make an already bad situation worse (hopeless)? What objective goal does the BBC (Big Bad Corp) seek tRead more

    I think it would strengthen the logline if the threat that the new device poses were to be clarified, made specific. What, exactly, is at stake? What threat does this “latest device” pose that will make an already bad situation worse (hopeless)?

    What objective goal does the BBC (Big Bad Corp) seek to achieve with this “latest device” that it already hasn’t achieved?

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  3. Posted: February 14, 2015In: Public

    To fulfill a lifetime dream a terminally ill man heads to the Grand Canyon. On the way he meets a homeless man and helps him reunite with his estranged family instead of finishing his trip.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 15, 2015 at 6:55 am

    What might interest me in the story is not WHAT he does but WHY he does it. Why of all tens of thousands of homeless people in the US of A, of all the homeless people he must surely notice, does he become involved in the life of this one? IOW: what's the so special about the inciting incident? WhatRead more

    What might interest me in the story is not WHAT he does but WHY he does it. Why of all tens of thousands of homeless people in the US of A, of all the homeless people he must surely notice, does he become involved in the life of this one?

    IOW: what’s the so special about the inciting incident? What is there about the encounter with the homeless man that triggers his decision to help this particular person rather than that one? Why would anyone deflect him from his original goal of checking off the Grand Canyon from his bucket list?

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