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When a self-made CEO develops a romantic connection with an ageing musician she must confront the loss of her company and her own mortality to rediscover love that transcends all.
On the plus side, the main character is female and there are not enough of them in scripts.? And the main character is also a woman of a certain age other than an adolescent or a young adult. And they're are not enough scripts about them either.In a romance, there needs to be a seemingly insurmountaRead more
On the plus side, the main character is female and there are not enough of them in scripts.? And the main character is also a woman of a certain age other than an adolescent or a young adult. And they’re are not enough scripts about them either.
In a romance, there needs to be a seemingly insurmountable obstacle (as in “Romeo & Juliet”)? and/or a seemingly intractable wedge issue? (as in “Tender Mercies”) that threatens to sabotage the relationship.? Or love happens unintentionally while two people with seemingly incompatible personalities, clashing temperaments and agendas are forced to work together to solve a common problem (as in “One Fine Day”).
And I don’t see any of those dramatic configurations here.?? Well, almost none.? There is a hint of a compatibility issue in the sense that she has lived life in a frantic pursuit of material success, the bottom line, and he has live life in pursuit of artistic expression.? Perhaps he has taken time to stop and smell the flowers (or at least sing about them) and she hasn’t.? If that is the case, it needs to be highlighted.? Initially the disparity of their backgrounds and professional goals should be a source of conflict not romance.
Whatever.. It seems to me the logline needs to suggest a source of conflict, of ongoing dramatic tension between the two characters, not just between characters and their careers or whatever else they are dealing with in their lives.
Finally, the logline kind of gives away the ending? “rediscover the love that transcends all”.? That is something a logline should never do.? The outcome, particularly a happy-ever-after ending, should be in doubt.? The initial odds should be overwhelmingly not in favor of romantic success.
See lessWhen she starts being tormented by an evil force,? a business woman must seek help from her husband after he is committed to a psychiatric hospital for trying to open her third eye.
Billy14:I still have no idea what the objective goal is. In one simple sentence, what is it?And the husband is in the driver's seat of the plot, not the wife.? She's trapped in the back seat as a passenger in the plot vehicle. The logline should be so framed.
Billy14:
I still have no idea what the objective goal is. In one simple sentence, what is it?
And the husband is in the driver’s seat of the plot, not the wife.? She’s trapped in the back seat as a passenger in the plot vehicle. The logline should be so framed.
See lessWhen she starts being tormented by an evil force,? a business woman must seek help from her husband after he is committed to a psychiatric hospital for trying to open her third eye.
Billy14:Thanks for the clarification.? As described, I get the impression that the plot is driving her, rather than she is driving the plot.? Things are happening to her and people are doing things to her. What agency does she have?? What free will is she exercising and to what end?? IOW: what becomRead more
Billy14:
Thanks for the clarification.? As described, I get the impression that the plot is driving her, rather than she is driving the plot.? Things are happening to her and people are doing things to her. What agency does she have?? What free will is she exercising and to what end?? IOW: what becomes her objective goal when the evil comes a knocking?? Is she seeking? a spiritual transformation or is it happening to her?? Who is in the drivers seat of the plot?? Driving to what destination?
What exactly must she win, stop, retrieve or escape from?? That is how the logline ought to be framed.
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