1. Posted: October 22, 2019In:

    When she starts being tormented by an evil force,? a business woman must seek help from her husband after he is committed to a psychiatric hospital for trying to open her third eye.

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    dpg Singularity

    Finding a Dead Sea scroll is an interesting idea for an inciting incident.? However, film is a visual medium so there needs to be a visual moment corresponding to every element in a logline.? What's the visual for "spiritual transformation", the on screen cue that signals to the audience that she haRead more

    Finding a Dead Sea scroll is an interesting idea for an inciting incident.? However, film is a visual medium so there needs to be a visual moment corresponding to every element in a logline.? What’s the visual for “spiritual transformation”, the on screen cue that signals to the audience that she has undergone the transformation. ( What does “opening her third eye” look like on a movie screen?)

    Further, loglines are about external objective goals, events, actions or objects that an audience can see — again a visual.? Loglines are not about inner states of mind or changes (“spiritual transformation”) because those are invisible to a movie viewer.

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  2. Posted: October 21, 2019In:

    When his fianc?e falls seriously ill, a brilliant and tortured scientist goes on a dangerous quest to find the revolutionary invention that would save her. But the feeling of being manipulated by mysterious people since childhood is becoming more and more real.

    dpg Singularity

    Agree with mikepedley85.? And realistically how can he devise a solution to a problem that isn't even defined? ? It's a "mysterious illness"; if he doesn't know the cause, how can he possible know what the remedy needs to be?Furthermore, the protagonist needs to be more specifically defined as someoRead more

    Agree with mikepedley85.? And realistically how can he devise a solution to a problem that isn’t even defined? ? It’s a “mysterious illness”; if he doesn’t know the cause, how can he possible know what the remedy needs to be?

    Furthermore, the protagonist needs to be more specifically defined as someone with credible competence. That is, he’s isn’t just a “brilliant scientist”, he’s a brilliant epidemiologist or biologist or whatever specialty it is that qualifies him to be a believable character, someone who just might solve the dramatic problem.

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  3. Posted: October 16, 2019In:

    When stuck in a Groundhog Day 7-day cycle after an explosion on the ISS, a career-obsessed astronaut must figure out the cause of the blast and why he keeps coming back.

    dpg Singularity

    Mikepedley85:Okay.? However, there are clear stakes -- global stakes -- from the git-go in? "Interstellar": the survival of humanity.? What are the stakes, personal and global, in this scenario?? What does he stand to suffer, to lose if he can't break out of the infinite loop? (I mean, it occurs toRead more

    Mikepedley85:

    Okay.? However, there are clear stakes — global stakes — from the git-go in? “Interstellar”: the survival of humanity.? What are the stakes, personal and global, in this scenario?? What does he stand to suffer, to lose if he can’t break out of the infinite loop? (I mean, it occurs to me that one option is that he could be having an anti-Groundhog Day experience in that the week he keeps looping through is the best week of his life.)

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