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When a hard-partying rockstar is kicked out of his band due to a drug addiction, he starts giving guitar lessons to fund his habit.
>>All the criticism you put forward towards my loglines would apply to anyone of those Yep. Did any of those loglines win the competition? Do you want to write a logline that gets lost in the pack with 99 other loglines, or do you want to write one that stands out, that runs ahead of the pack and wiRead more
>>All the criticism you put forward towards my loglines would apply to anyone of those
Yep.
Did any of those loglines win the competition?
Do you want to write a logline that gets lost in the pack with 99 other loglines, or do you want to write one that stands out, that runs ahead of the pack and wins the race?
Have you read the guidelines given at the Scriptshadow sight for what makes a good logline?
If you study the examples in the Scriptshadow guidelines as well as the example in the guidelines offered by the host of this site, Karel Segers, you will notice that both agree: a good logline states the protagonist’s goal in causal relation to an inciting incident.
That is, there is a direct cause-and-effect link between the inciting incident and the protagonist’s goal. Because X happens, the character does Y. Conversely, in the logic of drama, no X, no Y: no inciting incident, no objective goal.
What is the “inciting incident” established in your logline? The protagonist gets kicked out of the band.
What was his goal before he got kicked out? “In his mind, the only goal is to get more heroin”
What is his goal after he gets kicked out? “In his mind, the only goal is to get more heroin,”
So, the “inciting incident” changes NOTHING in regard to that goal. He was pursuing the next fix before he got kicked out. He’s still pursuing the next fix after he gets kicked out. So getting kicked out of the band isn’t the inciting incident because it doesn’t create or change the protagonist’s goal. It’s incidental to his addiction rather than inciting.
More specifically, getting kicked out of the band is a complication; it makes it harder for him to obtain his next fix. It changes the means to support his habit, not the end.
If your story is about a character who maintains his habit through the course of the movie, I think that has interesting possibilities — if that means that the monkey on his back is the burden he bears while pursuing an objective goal that is more than scrounging up money to keep carrying the monkey on his back.
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