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  1. Posted: November 17, 2013In: Public

    A bullied kid has 1 dream: to become the next big thing in soccer. But what he doesn't know is that there will be sacrifices to make.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 19, 2013 at 4:02 am

    Fear of being bullied is the raw material for a sufficient character flaw and challenge to overcome to realize his dream but the description of the dream itself needs to be more concrete and specific than the next big thing.? What does that mean? For example, as he is a "kid", his dream could be toRead more

    Fear of being bullied is the raw material for a sufficient character flaw and challenge to overcome to realize his dream but the description of the dream itself needs to be more concrete and specific than the next big thing.? What does that mean?

    For example, as he is a “kid”, his dream could be to make the team, lead it to a championship season.

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  2. Posted: November 16, 2013In: Public

    When a highly-successful psychologist saves a man on the street from suicide, she decides she isn't helping enough people who really need it, and starts a "mobile therapist" ride company, counseling strangers from pick-up to destination; until one-day she accepts a fare across country from a man with real demons to confront.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 18, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    >>>this man who has serious issues to work through Like what? The logline is vague. It lacks a specific problem and a specific objective goal. And what's at stake? That is, what does her client stand to lose if he fails to respond to her therapy? The teenager in "Ordinary People" (1980) hasRead more

    >>>this man who has serious issues to work through

    Like what? The logline is vague. It lacks a specific problem and a specific objective goal.

    And what’s at stake? That is, what does her client stand to lose if he fails to respond to her therapy?

    The teenager in “Ordinary People” (1980) has a very specific “serious issue”: the impulse to commit suicide because of guilt and anger over the death of his brother in a boating accident. The stakes are as high as they get: his life. He’s already tried to commit suicide once, he may try again.

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  3. Posted: November 16, 2013In: Public

    A young scubadiver stumbles onto an ancient alien device that imbues him with superhuman abilities. This enables him to establish world peace and spark mankind into becoming a space faring civilization.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 17, 2013 at 2:58 pm

    Are you trying to launch another super-hero franchise? Or is this story a one trick, one ride pony?

    Are you trying to launch another super-hero franchise? Or is this story a one trick, one ride pony?

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