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After failing to save her own partner, the superhero called Nova is a haunted shell of her former self until a woman from an alternate reality appears seeking help – a woman who looks exactly like her dead partner.
Like this one better. Suggest more urgency: her dead partner doesn't come seeking help -- she comes desperately needing help -- or else.
Like this one better. Suggest more urgency: her dead partner doesn’t come seeking help — she comes desperately needing help — or else.
See lessAfter failing to save her own partner, the superhero called Nova is a haunted shell of her former self until a woman from an alternate reality appears seeking help – a woman who looks exactly like her dead partner.
More concise, but "face her past" seems to be the subjective need. What's the objective goal? What is the problem that urgently needs to be solved here and now? (The solving of the present problem would entail resolving the subject need from the past.)
More concise, but “face her past” seems to be the subjective need. What’s the objective goal? What is the problem that urgently needs to be solved here and now?
(The solving of the present problem would entail resolving the subject need from the past.)
See lessWhen his brother is shot dead during a botched bank robbery to re-claim their family inheritance, a disenchanted book keeper must face a suspicious and obstinate Bank Manager, the cops, and his fear of public speaking to finish the job.
" mislaid in a dead neighbors safe deposit box at the bank" Okay, but mislaid doesn't raise a strong enough dramatic justification for breaking into the bank. A mislaid inheritance can be recovered by legal recourse; there is no need to rob the bank. But if it's been stolen by legal legerdermain --Read more
” mislaid in a dead neighbors safe deposit box at the bank”
Okay, but mislaid doesn’t raise a strong enough dramatic justification for breaking into the bank. A mislaid inheritance can be recovered by legal recourse; there is no need to rob the bank.
But if it’s been stolen by legal legerdermain — all legal remedies have been exhausted — then breaking into the bank can be dramatically justified.
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