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  1. Posted: April 17, 2013In: Public

    After finding her teenage son in bed with the town scamp, an overprotective mother hires a prostitute to pose as a student at her sons High School in an effort to lure him away from his budding new romance. But when the son falls for the alluring money hungry prostitute things quickly spiral out of control.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 18, 2013 at 1:44 am

    Definitely a comedy. Why not go for irony: the smother-mother "rescues" her son from the "town tramp", only to get involved in an torrid affair with a low-life gigolo herself.

    Definitely a comedy. Why not go for irony: the smother-mother “rescues” her son from the “town tramp”, only to get involved in an torrid affair with a low-life gigolo herself.

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  2. Posted: April 17, 2013

    A college photography student who discovers terrifying images of ghostly children in her shots of an abandoned amusement park races to uncover a decades-old mystery to save her son from the vengeful spirits.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 18, 2013 at 1:26 am

    But version 2.0 has a clear stakes character -- her son. My question is the casual connection between the discovery and the threat. Are the avenging spirits coming after her son because of what she's discovered in the pictures? If not, then WHY are they going after her son? A logline usually establiRead more

    But version 2.0 has a clear stakes character — her son.

    My question is the casual connection between the discovery and the threat. Are the avenging spirits coming after her son because of what she’s discovered in the pictures? If not, then WHY are they going after her son? A logline usually establishes a cause-and-effect link between an inciting incident and a subsequent action.

    That she’s seen ghosts in her pictures is an interesting incident, but is it the INCITING incident, the trigger domino the starts all the other dominos falling?

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  3. Posted: April 15, 2013In: Public

    "When the class "mean girl" suffers amnesia and believes she's a lowly nerd, everyone she'd bossed around struggles to keep her down… except for the class pariah, who won't treat anyone the way she treated him. Can they find love… and keep it when her memory returns?"

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 18, 2013 at 1:17 am

    Who's the protagonist? And what is his or her "A" story objective goal? Isn't it to overcome the amnesia? ("Find love" is usually the "B" story.)

    Who’s the protagonist? And what is his or her “A” story objective goal? Isn’t it to overcome the amnesia? (“Find love” is usually the “B” story.)

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