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After discovering the last of his estranged Father’s inheritance is locked in a neighbors safe deposit box, Chris, a shy and awkward out of work accountant convinces his felon Brother to break into the bank where it’s locked. When his brother is shot during the Heist, he is faced with the choice to either play hostage, or to finish the job himself.
Clarification: Not that I'm saying you have to cram the "B" story into the logline. Just saying. The logline for "Working Girl" is: When a secretary?s idea is stolen by her boss, she seizes an opportunity to steal it back by pretending she has her boss?s job. In 24 words and no mention of the "B" stRead more
Clarification: Not that I’m saying you have to cram the “B” story into the logline. Just saying.
The logline for “Working Girl” is: When a secretary?s idea is stolen by her boss, she seizes an opportunity to steal it back by pretending she has her boss?s job. In 24 words and no mention of the “B” story.
See lessAfter discovering the last of his estranged Father’s inheritance is locked in a neighbors safe deposit box, Chris, a shy and awkward out of work accountant convinces his felon Brother to break into the bank where it’s locked. When his brother is shot during the Heist, he is faced with the choice to either play hostage, or to finish the job himself.
As I see it, "mistakenly stored", "mislaid" doesn't cut it as a justifiable trigger for a criminal act. And a risky one at that. He's got to have been robbed of his inheritance one way or another and all other remedies have failed (including the courts). This makes him him mad enough to take extremeRead more
As I see it, “mistakenly stored”, “mislaid” doesn’t cut it as a justifiable trigger for a criminal act. And a risky one at that.
He’s got to have been robbed of his inheritance one way or another and all other remedies have failed (including the courts). This makes him him mad enough to take extreme measures to get what is his just due. The criminal action has to be justified in the mind of the audience.
Consider Tess in “Working Girl”. She plays by the rules, works and studies hard — and is frustrated because she’s getting nowhere in her career. This frustration is enough to trigger her to break the rules — and to have the audience on her side when she does so, right?
No!
Only after her boss betrays her trust and steals her idea does she get mad enough to break the rules. Now she’s got just cause — she’s been exploited and robbed. And because Tess has been established as a sympathetic character, the audience will support her decision at the end of Act One and root for her to win.
Oh yeah, and win over the Harrison Ford character. Which raises another issue: what’s the “B” story?
See lessDuring WW2, team of monsters led by Annabell Van Helsing must stop a group of Occult Nazis from resurrecting Dracula.
"must stop a group of occult Nazis" -- or else what? The stakes: What's the big deal about resurrecting Dracula when there are already so many villains rampaging through Europe?
“must stop a group of occult Nazis” — or else what?
The stakes: What’s the big deal about resurrecting Dracula when there are already so many villains rampaging through Europe?
See less