1. Posted: April 15, 2013In:

    Accused of ruining her sister?s wedding and future happiness, Annabelle must battle it out with her father who sees only the worst in her, leaving Annabelle more determined to leave the family grudges and insecurities behind her.

    dpg Singularity

    What is she fighting for (positive) -- instead of against (negative)?

    What is she fighting for (positive) — instead of against (negative)?

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  2. Posted: April 15, 2013In:

    Evading a nationwide manhunt, a twenty-first-century Dr. Jekyll attempts to clear his name before his split personality, Mr. Hyde, assassinates the president of the U.S.A.

    dpg Singularity

    The logline gives away the ending -- "futile attempt", "bitter-sweet end" -- and it's a downer.

    The logline gives away the ending — “futile attempt”, “bitter-sweet end” — and it’s a downer.

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  3. Posted: April 15, 2013In:

    After a troubled teen girl is caught vandalizing state property, she is ordered to spend 6 months in juvenile detention center; where she falls in love with the, married, faculty art teacher.

    dpg Singularity

    The logline doesn't say the teacher falls in love with her. Only that she falls in love with him. There is no hint of complications that follow from her crush, the risk, the perils. What is at stake because of her crush?

    The logline doesn’t say the teacher falls in love with her. Only that she falls in love with him. There is no hint of complications that follow from her crush, the risk, the perils. What is at stake because of her crush?

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