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A greedy treasure-hunter must learn everything about the life of a woman he's killed in order to find his treasure.
What was said previously about an unsympathetic character. And what's the risk in terms of the downside, what does he stand to lose if he fails? (Can't be the treasure 'caz he doesn't have it) What's really at stake other than the treasure?
What was said previously about an unsympathetic character. And what’s the risk in terms of the downside, what does he stand to lose if he fails? (Can’t be the treasure ‘caz he doesn’t have it) What’s really at stake other than the treasure?
See lessPosing as a prostitute, a moral housewife penetrates the underground sex-trade in order to find her missing gigolo son.
A ticking clock would be nice--greater urgency. What if she was a successful artist or write or owned her own business rather than just a housewife? Now she's risking her reputation and career as well as everything else to find her son. She has more to lose if she fails -- or even succeeds in rescuiRead more
A ticking clock would be nice–greater urgency.
What if she was a successful artist or write or owned her own business rather than just a housewife? Now she’s risking her reputation and career as well as everything else to find her son. She has more to lose if she fails — or even succeeds in rescuing her son but everyone finds out what she did. More complications = more possibilities for conflict and dilemma.
See lessIn exchange for his freedom, a Confederate prisoner chooses to hitch on with a Federal posse, tracking his former commander into Mexico, where he hopes to find answers to the mysterious death of his brother.
This logline raises more questions than interest in my mind. What's the protagonist's motivation: to win his freedom or to solve the riddle of his brother's death? And how is the Union posse going to hold him prisoner if the Civil War is over? Or is it? If the war is still going, why would the UnionRead more
This logline raises more questions than interest in my mind.
What’s the protagonist’s motivation: to win his freedom or to solve the riddle of his brother’s death? And how is the Union posse going to hold him prisoner if the Civil War is over? Or is it?
If the war is still going, why would the Union divert badly needed man power resources from the war effort to chase one man who has fled to Mexico?
What makes the commander a “McGuffin” (ala Alfred Hitchcock) — someone they absolutely MUST find? Or else–what? What’s at risk of being lost if they don’t find this commander?
And wouldn’t it be more interesting if the stakes were higher? It’s not just a matter of winning his freedom, but saving his very life– or the life of a stake character, some one near and dear to him (a love interest?)
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