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After a string of murders in rooms sinisterly decorated like scenes out of children?s books, a burned-out detective must connect the victims and follow the clues back into his own past to stop the killer
About a year ago I read "The Godfather Notebook", a collection of notes Francis Ford Coppola made while writing and directing "The Godfather".? His technique for condensing the sprawling book down to a shooting script was to come up with a one word description of the theme.?? After wrestling with thRead more
About a year ago I read “The Godfather Notebook”, a collection of notes Francis Ford Coppola made while writing and directing “The Godfather”.? His technique for condensing the sprawling book down to a shooting script was to come up with a one word description of the theme.?? After wrestling with the book for weeks, the one word description he came up with was:
“Succession”
The Godfather was a story of a struggle to determine who would succeed Don Vito Corleone.
He wrote the word on an index card and taped it by his typewriter.? That index card was his North Star for navigating through the book, writing the script.
It’s a technique I’ve tried to adopted for my own projects.? Operative word: tried.? I can’t say I can summarize all my current projects in just one word.? But at least I’ve been able to summarize the overarching theme in 2-3 words.
Now then.? What do you consider to be a one word summary of your operative theme?? Or two?? Or three?
After reading your summary, the word that first came to my mind was “revenge”.? He wants revenge against a system that let the deviant creep get away. And then it occurred to me that a more emotionally compelling theme might be “redemption”.?? Yes, the system was flawed, but he could have, should have pushed harder.? However, he was a rookie he couldn’t pull rank; and he didn’t want to damage his prospects for promotion so he acquiesced to his superiors.? And so…
Anyway, just spitballing and trying to get a better focus on the plot.? It’s your story, of course.? Best wishes.
fwiw
BTW: Have you viewed Episode 3 of Prime Suspect, starring Hellen Mirren?? It’s about the cover up of a pedophile ring.? Strongly recommend, imho, one of best episodes in the widely acclaimed series.
See lessAfter a string of murders in rooms sinisterly decorated like scenes out of children?s books, a burned-out detective must connect the victims and follow the clues back into his own past to stop the killer
Your logline has the required core elements (inciting incident, protagonist, objective goal).? And comes in at an acceptable length of 34 words. However, I'm having a bit of trouble visualizing "decorated straight out of children's books".?? Would you care to elaborate? Also, fwiw, I've worked withRead more
Your logline has the required core elements (inciting incident, protagonist, objective goal).? And comes in at an acceptable length of 34 words.
However, I’m having a bit of trouble visualizing “decorated straight out of children’s books”.?? Would you care to elaborate?
Also, fwiw, I’ve worked with and observed first hand a number of detectives and cops. And over time they do suffer from “battle fatigue”;? their work wears them down psychologically; they become cynical, suspicious, bitter.? And burned out — that’s the term I am inclined to suggest rather than disillusioned.? In my demented mind, “burned out”? is more evocative:? their passion for seeing justice done has burned out; they are just putting in their time, perfunctorily working their cases, pushing paperwork until they can collect their pensions.? And all the while, their job is wreaking hell with their personal lives and personal relationships.
Finally, does “follow the clues back to his own past” refer to a realization he comes to at the end of Act 1?? Or is it a MPR discovery?
fwiw
See lessIt’s the year 2030 and Teller is working at becoming Supreme Leader with the help of his good friends and the absurd seems to be working.
Unboundwriter,I'm not angry.I was just saying.All I know about your story is what the logline says.? I can't read between the lines; I can't read? your mind; I can't know all the brainstorming and creative thinking you've put into your idea.? And neither can anyone else reading your logline.? All thRead more
Unboundwriter,
I’m not angry.
I was just saying.
All I know about your story is what the logline says.? I can’t read between the lines; I can’t read? your mind; I can’t know all the brainstorming and creative thinking you’ve put into your idea.? And neither can anyone else reading your logline.? All they can do is take at face value what the logline says.
?A logline has to stand on its own as one short statement that sells your story idea, that makes someone want to read the script. That’s an admittedly daunting challenge.
If you can write a comedy more absurd than the present state of affairs, more power to you.? I welcome having my assessment of a story’s prospects proven wrong.? So prove me wrong!
regards
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