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  1. Posted: July 31, 2019In: Crime

    Begore the summer vacation a girl was murdered After being inherited and the investigator and her friends are trying to find the murderer and they are hampered by what they have avoided every summer But it has already begun

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 31, 2019 at 3:40 am

    >>>was murdered After being inherited Please clarify.? What does it mean that she "was inherited"? >>>what they have avoided every summer What have they avoided? >>But it has already begun What has already begun? The logline needs to clearly state what the dramatic threat is.Read more

    >>>was murdered After being inherited

    Please clarify.? What does it mean that she “was inherited”?

    >>>what they have avoided every summer

    What have they avoided?

    >>But it has already begun

    What has already begun?

    The logline needs to clearly state what the dramatic threat is.? And it needs to specify the objective goal.

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  2. Posted: July 28, 2019In: SciFi

    An America Indian and her drinking buddy from another star system saves abducted humans from hostile ETs then they save humanity from their most formidable foe. . . . Humans!

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 30, 2019 at 9:26 pm

    I like having a Native American protagonist.? But having her save humanity from itself is vague.? What is the specific problem that humanity collectively needs to be rescued from?And who is the face of that problem -- the proxy antagonist?? Who is global enemy #1 who needs to be vanquished?

    I like having a Native American protagonist.? But having her save humanity from itself is vague.? What is the specific problem that humanity collectively needs to be rescued from?

    And who is the face of that problem — the proxy antagonist?? Who is global enemy #1 who needs to be vanquished?

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  3. Posted: July 29, 2019In: Drama

    When his only friend goes missing under mysterious circumstances, a psychotically depressed teenager decides to become a superhero in order to find him.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 30, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    >>> depression-induced psychosis Hmm.? The standard clinical symptom of psychosis is a loss of contact with reality.? Which might induce someone to think he can be a superhero.? But it would also render him unable to deal with the real world,? hence, unable to accurately observe and processRead more

    >>> depression-induced psychosis

    Hmm.? The standard clinical symptom of psychosis is a loss of contact with reality.? Which might induce someone to think he can be a superhero.? But it would also render him unable to deal with the real world,? hence, unable to accurately observe and process clues? to solve the mystery of his friend’s disappearance.? Or do much of anything else to function and survive in the real world.

    So is this the story of a teenager who thinks he can become a superhero and solve the mystery — but he’s deluded; he can’t do either because of the nature of his mental disorder?? Or is this an origin story for a new superhero?? And if the latter, then the story belongs in the superhero genre.? And if the latter what are the latent powers that he will develop that makes him different from all the other superheros?? What is his special gift?

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