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Who leads the trio?? Who is the alpha-character?? Whoever that is probably should be the designated protagonist and the logline should be written to focus on that character.>>>their goalsGoals, plural?? Aren't the trio striving for the same goal?? A plot is about the pursuit of a singular gRead more
Who leads the trio?? Who is the alpha-character?? Whoever that is probably should be the designated protagonist and the logline should be written to focus on that character.
>>>their goals
Goals, plural?? Aren’t the trio striving for the same goal?? A plot is about the pursuit of a singular goal, even when it involves multiple characters.
And? how does “unusual espionage assignment” translate into a concrete, objective goal?? For the purpose of a logline “unusual” isn’t really unusual? because it’s SOP in a thriller for the protagonist to be tasked with an “unusual” assignment.? The objective goal needs to be spelled out.? Be specific. One cannot assume that logline readers are familiar with the book so as to know what the assignment is.? Nor that they will take the effort and time to read the book to find out.? ?For the genre,? the “unusual” assignment is the “game ball ” (as Blake Snyder of “Save the Cat!” fame put it) and a logline needs to show the game ball — not hide it.
>>>They parted ways when they were children, and only in the strange reality of 1Q84 do they have a chance to find each other again.
That’s back story, hence extraneous to a logline.? A logline is about the story looking forward in time, not looking back.
See lessAn extraterrestrial warrior raised on planet Earth must fight a threat from his own species to protect the future of the planet.
CraigDGriffith's? review underscores a problem with this logline: it is in danger of falling (and therefore failing) into the trap of being associated? with other extra-terrestrial super warrior-superheros like Thor and Superman.? So the logline needs to better define and differentiate the characterRead more
CraigDGriffith’s? review underscores a problem with this logline: it is in danger of falling (and therefore failing) into the trap of being associated? with other extra-terrestrial super warrior-superheros like Thor and Superman.? So the logline needs to better define and differentiate the character from other out-of-this-world supers.
I think the logline also needs a clearer statement of the threat and, hence, the stakes.? Exactly what is the threat?? What must be protected?? All life on earth?? Or just all humans?? (And? if the latter, why would the extraterrestrial betray his own species and side with humans?? Seems like there is an implied dilemma in the premise.)
See lessLooking for advice/approval on the following logline I created. Thank you!! “After being turned into a beast in a neo-gothic world, a fearless woman disguised as a woman seeks revenge against the cult who sacrificed her during the next hunt.” What do you think? criticism and help would be greatly appreciated.
As Richiev said, the logline is confusing.? ?It's unclear to me what the story is about. The woman is turned into a beast -- but is now disguised as a woman?? ?Say what?And if she was sacrificed ,how can she be alive to get revenge?? Again, say? what?
As Richiev said, the logline is confusing.? ?It’s unclear to me what the story is about. The woman is turned into a beast — but is now disguised as a woman?? ?Say what?
And if she was sacrificed ,how can she be alive to get revenge?? Again, say? what?
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