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  1. Posted: March 20, 2019In: Family

    After naively inviting her daughter’s various ‘godfathers’, a mafia overlord must prevent her wedding from becoming a gang war

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 22, 2019 at 12:13 am

    Richiev makes a good point, but...This concept will inevitably be compared to the opening sequence of the "The Godfather".? In that sequence, Don Corleone has invited his rivals to his daughter's wedding.? And Don Corleone was not naive, was nobody's fool.? The reason why Don Corleone invited them wRead more

    Richiev makes a good point, but…

    This concept will inevitably be compared to the opening sequence of the “The Godfather”.? In that sequence, Don Corleone has invited his rivals to his daughter’s wedding.? And Don Corleone was not naive, was nobody’s fool.? The reason why Don Corleone invited them was because the mafia did have a code of conduct.? A wedding was a safe haven, a day of standing down; it was unthinkable? for anyone to dishonor the Godfather, to defile the occasion? with violence.? ?That has become the standard convention.

    To make the premise of this story plausible, it will be necessary to explain why the boss invited them and why they violated their own code of conduct.

    Also, why always the Sicilian mob?? IMHO, it’s such an overused trope.? In these times, there are plenty of other ethnic groups to choose from.

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  2. Posted: March 19, 2019In: Examples

    The story of the radical writer John Reed, eye-witness to the Russian revolution, the only American to be buried in the Kremlin.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 21, 2019 at 12:38 am

    Wind:Good question.? I suggest that loglines posted? as "Examples" are a special case,? an exception to the general rule that all? loglines should be posted based upon? "The Formula".? ?Loglines in this category are not in the same class as loglines for spec scripts.? "Examples" loglines? are for scRead more

    Wind:

    Good question.? I suggest that loglines posted? as “Examples” are a special case,? an exception to the general rule that all? loglines should be posted based upon? “The Formula”.? ?Loglines in this category are not in the same class as loglines for spec scripts.? “Examples” loglines? are for scripts that are done deals, that have already been made into movies.? I think the more important factor to consider in writing loglines for done deals is the story hook.? What was the unique selling point, the “plus factor” that got the script read and sold, the movie made?

    It may be that one version of a logline can do both? jobs.? But I have come to the conclusion based upon my own analysis of loglines? (over 850 to date), that is not always the case.

    Such was not the case with “Reds”.? The? hook that got Warren Beatty interested in John Reed, the hook he used to pitch the project was that? the main character, an American radical, was buried in the Kremlin.

    And “Reds” is a special case of the special case.? Only someone with Warren Beatty’s charm,? network (he was on a first name basis with all the power players) and star status could have gotten the? script sold, the movie made. An aspiring wanna writer with no agent,? zero industry contacts could not have done it.? Don’t try this at home!

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  3. Posted: March 20, 2019In: Coming of Age

    Life for a SoCal adolescent upends when his family moves to 1970?s Tehran, addled by homesickness, culture shock and coming of age, the unlikely adoption of an eagle inspires his escape into the ancient art of falconry.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 20, 2019 at 11:11 pm

    So his objective goal is only to escape from the reality of an unpleasant situation?An objective goal should? be framed positively, not negatively. It's not enough that he's trying to escape an unpleasant situation; he must also be striving? toward a desired end.? ? The protagonist needs to be descrRead more

    So his objective goal is only to escape from the reality of an unpleasant situation?

    An objective goal should? be framed positively, not negatively. It’s not enough that he’s trying to escape an unpleasant situation; he must also be striving? toward a desired end.? ? The protagonist needs to be described? as proactive — not reactive .

    I sense there is an interesting, marketable story here.? But it seems buried under the logline versions so far.? Keep digging.

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