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  1. Posted: March 18, 2019In: Drama

    When he falls in love with an alcoholic cop in rehab, a drug addicted mobster must keep his new love from discovering his mafia heritage in order to run away with her and escape his toxic family.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 19, 2019 at 9:01 am

    I gotta agree with Robb Ross.? Must the criminal gang always be Italian/Sicilians?? It's so overused.? There plenty of other criminal gangs to choose from.? Latino, Black, Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Russian -- spread the notoriety around.Be that as it may, I suggest that she fall in love with him inRead more

    I gotta agree with Robb Ross.? Must the criminal gang always be Italian/Sicilians?? It’s so overused.? There plenty of other criminal gangs to choose from.? Latino, Black, Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Russian — spread the notoriety around.

    Be that as it may, I suggest that she fall in love with him in spite of knowing his background.

    FWIW, I would also point out that recovery romances are strongly discouraged by counselors. Clients in recovery mode are emotionally unstable and vulnerable; they are at a high risk of relapse. Recovery romances are often star-crossed relationships. And too often, when one partner relapses, he/she drags the other down with him/her.? Those risks should be a part of the story.

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  2. Posted: March 11, 2019In: Historical

    3RD DRAFT…..The idyllic life of an adolescent surfer drastically changes when his family moves to pre-revolution Tehran, an American melting pot submerged in an alien culture where certain realities are but an illusion.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 19, 2019 at 2:22 am

    Okay, now the story is getting interesting.? ? The fact that his father was a covert operative immediately adds tension to the story. This somehow needs to be worked into the logline.? It's a story hook and story hooks should be? hoisted up the flagpole of a logline -- not buried in the text of theRead more

    Okay, now the story is getting interesting.? ? The fact that his father was a covert operative immediately adds tension to the story. This somehow needs to be worked into the logline.? It’s a story hook and story hooks should be? hoisted up the flagpole of a logline — not buried in the text of the script.? Or to mangle metaphors, loglines need to pitch the sizzle, not the steak.? And having a father who is a covert operative is prime sizzle.

    Now, while it may have be SOP for parents not to remain undercover to their kids,? has the teenager figured out the true nature of his father’s employment?? At least, does he have suspicions?

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  3. Posted: March 11, 2019In: Historical

    3RD DRAFT…..The idyllic life of an adolescent surfer drastically changes when his family moves to pre-revolution Tehran, an American melting pot submerged in an alien culture where certain realities are but an illusion.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 18, 2019 at 9:57 pm

    Clarification please:? why did his family move to Iran?? (Did his father work in the oil industry?? For the? US Embassy?)And what personal problem will taking? up falconry help him? to solve? (Drama is about a problem that creates conflict that leads to change.)

    Clarification please:? why did his family move to Iran?? (Did his father work in the oil industry?? For the? US Embassy?)

    And what personal problem will taking? up falconry help him? to solve? (Drama is about a problem that creates conflict that leads to change.)

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