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I’m trying to write a script for a short film. Not a native speaker so I need help with writing my logline. Struggling with her economic situation, a lonely melancholic woman gets a one-day job to watch over a man with Alzheimer’s . Turns out that this man is her ex-husband who she got separated from 20 years ago, after their young child died.
In my checklist, the story hook is the most necessary element to having a winning logline.? And the story hook for this film project is a great one.? Strip away the superfluous information and the logline might be:A destitute woman takes the only job she can find, caring for a man with Alzheimer's,Read more
In my checklist, the story hook is the most necessary element to having a winning logline.? And the story hook for this film project is a great one.? Strip away the superfluous information and the logline might be:
A destitute woman takes the only job she can find, caring for a man with Alzheimer’s, only to discover he’s the husband who abandoned her 20 years ago.
(28 words)
Though? this logline? may be lacking in? strict logical? conformity to the standard formula, I suggest it more than compensates with a story hook that is loaded with emotional turmoil.? And as the great director Billy Wilder used to say: “Don’t give me the logic, give me the emotion .”
The discovery is a story twist that immediately escalates the dramatic tension. And it places her in a dramatic dilemma, trapped between her dramatic need (money to subsist) and her want (to have nothing to do with him).? And it implicitly raises a dramatic question replete with irony: will she abandon her job to take care of the man who now needs her most, the man who abandoned his marriage to her when she needed him most?
I do have one suggestion? in respect to the dramatic question.? Even though? it’s a short film covering (I presume) only one day, I suggest the actual time span of the job be left open ended.? Thus, the dramatic question to be answered at the end of the film would be:? will she quit after one day? Or will she do what he didn’t,? fulfill her marriage vow to have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do them part?
This is a film I want to see. I want to know what she finally decides. Very best wishes with your project!
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Again, why would a CIA agent get involved?? It's a health problem, not a? national security problem.? The problem is outside his jurisdiction, beyond the scope of his job purview.
Again, why would a CIA agent get involved?? It’s a health problem, not a? national security problem.? The problem is outside his jurisdiction, beyond the scope of his job purview.
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How is it that a 157 year old woman is vigorous enough to escape from anywhere? The logline is categorized as "Noir" but it seems more in the realm of the Fantastical or SciFi.
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