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A Secret Service agent kills the President to save the Presidency. 20 years later, he must help save his estranged daughter, the newest President, when she is taken hostage.
Improbabilities aside, my primary concern is that the logline presents two plots of co-equal dramatic import: 1] The assassination of one President; 2] The rescue of another President.? So what kind of project is this logline pitching?? A mini-series?? Because? it seems to me it would be quite diffiRead more
Improbabilities aside, my primary concern is that the logline presents two plots of co-equal dramatic import: 1] The assassination of one President; 2] The rescue of another President.? So what kind of project is this logline pitching?? A mini-series?? Because? it seems to me it would be quite difficult cramming both plot lines within one feature film.
Not to mention that? doing so would violate standard plotting convention going back to Aristotle’s Poetics, that a plot should have unity of action, one organizing principle, one dramatic spine (action, motive, objective goal) on which all the other elements hang.? What is the organizing principle, the dramatic spine that unites both the assassination and the rescue?? What is this story really about?
Also,? the audience needs a justification for the assassination.? ?What was the protagonist’s motive ?? To rescue the country from a corrupt President?? If so, the logline needs to indicate this.
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This is a synopsis not a logline.? Suggest you review the guidelines for composing and industry standard logline under "Our Formula" at the top of the web page.
This is a synopsis not a logline.? Suggest you review the guidelines for composing and industry standard logline under “Our Formula” at the top of the web page.
See lessTo save her job, a downsized pharmaceutical statistician with Asperger’s uses all her wiles on a dangerous mission to expose ED drug counterfeiters.
Isn't this a job for the FDA?? Wouldn't the government be issuing warnings to consumers about the poisoned pills and leading the effort to find the malefactors?? I'm not sure the CIA would be involved in such an investigation as it doesn't entail a national security issue which is the CIA's prime opRead more
Isn’t this a job for the FDA?? Wouldn’t the government be issuing warnings to consumers about the poisoned pills and leading the effort to find the malefactors?? I’m not sure the CIA would be involved in such an investigation as it doesn’t entail a national security issue which is the CIA’s prime operative.
And what unique skill does she have that her company would tap her for the job?? I mean, they’re going to fire her — and yet they are giving her this assignment.? And if they’re giving her the assignment, why is her? job future with the company in jeopardy?? And if she’s a victim of age discrimination (a legitimate issue, btw), again why are they nonetheless tapping her for this assignment?
The logic just doesn’t seem to cohere.
I am intrigued by the idea of a female statistician.? But it seems to me that her skill set is a throw away in this premise.? I would be more interested in a story where the inciting incident arises from her character strength, her statistical chops,.? ?For example, while? data mining? she notices a statistical pattern indicating a problem or threat that no one else sees,? And no one believes her when she brings it to the attention of the powers that be.? So she takes it upon herself to solve the mystery herself, who dunnit and why.
fwiw
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