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When a pioneering kidney patient is confronted by a God-Committee reject, he takes on Washington to make life-saving dialysis treatments universally available.
Robb Ross raises a valid point.IMHO, even if the dialysis event occurs in? Act 3, it's the story hook in terms of the logline.? It's a trailer moment.? It's the logline element? most likely to? generate interest in reading the script (which is the objective goal of a logline).? ?People will? be curiRead more
Robb Ross raises a valid point.
IMHO, even if the dialysis event occurs in? Act 3, it’s the story hook in terms of the logline.? It’s a trailer moment.? It’s the logline element? most likely to? generate interest in reading the script (which is the objective goal of a logline).? ?People will? be curious to? know the sequence of events that drove him to such a dramatic display of his plight, of the life-or-death plight of so many kidney patients.
I am a strong advocate of the standard formula explained under the “Our Formula” link at the top of the page.? But if you’re a wannabe writer, with no track record of script sales, no agent, no contacts in the industry the most important element in your logline is the story hook.? Period.
New paragraph.
How else is your script going to get? attention, stand out from the 10’s of thousands of other scripts that are put into play every year?
See lessWhen an autistic American teenager falls in love with an Italian girl, he must overcome his difficulties with social interaction to win her.
How realistic is the premise? Isn't one of the defining characteristics of autism? an inability to relate to others, to even establish emotional bonds with anyone, certainly strangers (which the Italian girl would be).? Isn't it more realistic for her to get interested in him first?? So that her tasRead more
How realistic is the premise?
Isn’t one of the defining characteristics of autism? an inability to relate to others, to even establish emotional bonds with anyone, certainly strangers (which the Italian girl would be).? Isn’t it more realistic for her to get interested in him first?? So that her task/goal is to get him to come out of his shell and emotionally bond with her?
Just staying.
See lessWhen a pioneering kidney patient is confronted by a God-Committee reject, he takes on Washington to make life-saving dialysis treatments universally available.
>>> The hero of this story underwent kidney dialysis on? the floor of Congress That's the story hook.? I suggest you fashion a logline around that event.? (Although, isn't it more accurate to say he underwent dialysis in a committee room? )? So maybe something like: A kidney patient rejecteRead more
>>> The hero of this story underwent kidney dialysis on? the floor of Congress
That’s the story hook.? I suggest you fashion a logline around that event.? (Although, isn’t it more accurate to say he underwent dialysis in a committee room? )? So maybe something like:
A kidney patient rejected for a transplant demonstrates with dialysis treatments in the hall of Congress? to make the treatment universally available.
See less(22 words)