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A hostile takeover of America causes a couple to stop bickering and start working together.
How does "working together" translate into a plot?? What are they "working together" for -- what is their objective goal?? Who/what opposes them?? What are the stakes?
How does “working together” translate into a plot?? What are they “working together” for — what is their objective goal?? Who/what opposes them?? What are the stakes?
See lessA dead husband waits to be reunited with his wife, but he isn’t the only one waiting.
The logline presents a story that is stuck in neutral, that doesn't get into gear and do anything, go anywhere.? What happens (the inciting incident) that gets the story into gear and moving?? And once it moves, move toward what?? What is the action, the plot?
The logline presents a story that is stuck in neutral, that doesn’t get into gear and do anything, go anywhere.? What happens (the inciting incident) that gets the story into gear and moving?? And once it moves, move toward what?? What is the action, the plot?
See lessa young rain-maker must quickly master her abilities to save the kingdom from the Ruler of storms
As the others have said. It's not clear what the main action is, what she is supposed to do.? If she's a rain-maker, is her goal to bring rain that the "Ruler of storms" has prevented from falling?? Or his her goal to prevent this "Ruler' from inflicting too much rains, causing destructive floods??Read more
As the others have said.
It’s not clear what the main action is, what she is supposed to do.? If she’s a rain-maker, is her goal to bring rain that the “Ruler of storms” has prevented from falling?? Or his her goal to prevent this “Ruler’ from inflicting too much rains, causing destructive floods?? What’s the principal dramatic problem she must resolve?
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