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  1. Posted: September 17, 2018In: Drama

    When a country singer is temporarily released from jail, he goes looking for his daughter who has returned all of his letters unopened.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on September 19, 2018 at 6:53 am

    >>>?he goes looking for his daughter who has returned all of his letters unopened.Needs clarification. Are the letters returned because she's disappeared?? Or have they been returned because she is alienated from him?? IOW:? ?Is this a story about a mystery where his objective goal is findRead more

    >>>?he goes looking for his daughter who has returned all of his letters unopened.

    Needs clarification. Are the letters returned because she’s disappeared?? Or have they been returned because she is alienated from him?? IOW:? ?Is this a story about a mystery where his objective goal is find out why she has disappeared.? Or his objective goal to reconcile and heal their relationship ?

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  2. Posted: September 18, 2018In: Noir

    A man makes numerous phone calls trying to negotiate his own safety while travelling to his gangster boss to confess his failure, finally having to settle for saving his family from revenge.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on September 19, 2018 at 6:50 am

    >>>negotiate his own safetyMore to the point, the stakes are his life and that of his family.? From the FADE IN, isn't that's what he's fighting/negotiating for?

    >>>negotiate his own safety

    More to the point, the stakes are his life and that of his family.? From the FADE IN, isn’t that’s what he’s fighting/negotiating for?

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  3. Posted: September 17, 2018In: Comedy

    When her mother goes into rehab, the 16 year old girl must go with her father, a country singer, who is temporarily released from jail to do a tour.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on September 19, 2018 at 6:23 am

    >>>When a teenage ballet dancer goes on tour with her country singer father she barely knows, she must save him from getting killed as he?s a witness in a murder case.1] This is a comedy?2] She barely knows him -- but she knows he's a witness in a murder case?? And she knows the bad guys whRead more

    >>>When a teenage ballet dancer goes on tour with her country singer father she barely knows, she must save him from getting killed as he?s a witness in a murder case.

    1] This is a comedy?

    2] She barely knows him — but she knows he’s a witness in a murder case?? And she knows the bad guys who are out to kill him?

    3] For the purpose of? plot and? logline, how does being a ballet dancer enable her to save him? With?a karate version of a grand jet??? A defining characteristic of a character should be relevant to the plot problem.? That she is a ballet dancer seems extraneous.

    4]? The story has gone through several versions –what is the common core, the overarching theme?? ?(I get the impression of a situation in search of a plot.)

    fwiw

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