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After a chance meeting with his high school sweetheart reminds him he?s not who he aspired to be, a responsible 29-year-old risks his healthy relationship and stable career to live the life he dreamt of.
>>>>live the life he dreamt of.Which is? What's the Biggest Dream of his life he has foregone?? And why? He didn't have the guts to pursue it?? Or does he blame his love interest??
>>>>live the life he dreamt of.
Which is? What’s the Biggest Dream of his life he has foregone?? And why? He didn’t have the guts to pursue it?? Or does he blame his love interest??
See lessWhen the illegal distribution of Opioids claims the life of a high school athlete, a 3rd generation police officer leads an investigation and as the case breaks, the fallout hits close to home.
I agree with Nir Shelter that the logline needs to cut to the chase, be more specific. His objective goal seems to be clear:? find the dealer who was selling the drug.? Well, say so.And what is as to the central dramatic problem,obstacle or antagonist that prevents him from solving the case?? That cRead more
I agree with Nir Shelter that the logline needs to cut to the chase, be more specific. His objective goal seems to be clear:? find the dealer who was selling the drug.? Well, say so.
And what is as to the central dramatic problem,obstacle or antagonist that prevents him from solving the case?? That creates dramatic tension, suspense?? “Fallout hits close to home” — what does that mean exactly?
What’s the story hook?? What makes this story stand out from all the other stories, real and fictional, about the plague of opioid addiction?
See less(Having another stab at this one….)
>>> substance reliantIOW: she's a drug addict.? So just say so.? Don't obfuscate.>>> high-end... escortIOW: she's a high-price prostitute.? Again, just say so.? Don't obfuscate.>>anti-socialBetter: sociopath>>cellingBetter: in jail with>>must withstand the emotionRead more
>>> substance reliant
IOW: she’s a drug addict.? So just say so.? Don’t obfuscate.
>>> high-end… escort
IOW: she’s a high-price prostitute.? Again, just say so.? Don’t obfuscate.
>>anti-social
Better: sociopath
>>celling
Better: in jail with
>>must withstand the emotional provocation.
This places her in the role of a passive victim with the sociopath in the driver’s seat of the plot.? But a protagonist must be proactive, the character who is driving the plot.
Finally, enduring emotional abuse is a complication, but it is not the solution to her primary dramatic problem, her need to win her freedom.? ? Further the logline overlooks a greater aggravating factor of her incarceration than being locked up with a sociopath: the emotional turmoil of withdrawal symptoms because she can’t obtain her next fix.
Anyway, for her to win her freedom:
1] Someone outside must post her bail.
2] Or the investigating detective must drop charges.
3] Or a lawyer must successfully defend her if charges aren’t dropped and her case goes to trial.
In all 3 scenarios, winning her freedom is contingent on the actions of others. She’s not in the driver’s seat of the plot.? She’s merely a passenger in the plot.?The logline needs to be framed with the protagonist? as a proactive character, the character in the driver’s seat of the plot.
Finally, what’s your point in constructing this scenario?? Through all the iterations of your story idea, what is the common denominator, the theme you wish to dramatize?? What’s the subtext, the reason why you want to put her through this ordeal?
fwiw
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