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When his son demonstrates prodigious Connect 4 skills, a father who was always second-best reconnects with his hyper-competitive family to train the boy and regain the title he lost from their fierce rival family in the quadrennial competition
At first glance -- and that is the most attention one can usually expect from a logline -- the stakes seem to be? for small potatoes. And the father's goal is selfish -- he aims to triumph vicariously through his son. Well, it's a comedy and what are comedies about, if not to play out the folly of hRead more
At first glance — and that is the most attention one can usually expect from a logline — the stakes seem to be? for small potatoes. And the father’s goal is selfish — he aims to triumph vicariously through his son. Well, it’s a comedy and what are comedies about, if not to play out the folly of human behavior?
Still, I’m not sure how credible the objective goal is.? My understanding is that Connect 4? is a solved game; that is, all the combination of moves have been analyzed.? It’s been established that? whoever goes first has an unbeatable tactical advantage.? Like in? tic-tac-toe.? So the son can become a prodigy by merely googling the internet for the winning moves when he goes 1st.? (Unlike his father, who didn’t that resource in his youth.) Where’s the suspense?
fwiw
See lessWhen his reflection changes to a young woman who needs his help, a reclusive author must enter Miraland and lead the rebellion against the crooked regime before the corruption spills into the real world.
>>>crooked regime before the corruption spills into the real world.So what?? There are so many crooked regimes and corruption in the real world, what difference will one more make?? What is so gawdawful about the regime in the mirror world that makes it worst than anything in this world --Read more
>>>crooked regime before the corruption spills into the real world.
So what?? There are so many crooked regimes and corruption in the real world, what difference will one more make?? What is so gawdawful about the regime in the mirror world that makes it worst than anything in this world — the worst of all possible worlds?
Alas, my impression of the logline through all the iterations is that of an interesting inciting incident, a good idea in quest of a worthy plot.? As Woody Allen said, “Good ideas are a dime a dozen: ‘It’s the then what?’ that kills you.”
See lessIs this good for a first logline
As others have said.And the logline seems to have a? spoiler -- it gives away the ending (he changes his mind).? A logline should never contain a spoiler.Also, that he changes his mind when he realizes things are better now than 50 years ago doesn't ring emotionally true.? Obviously, things are notRead more
As others have said.
And the logline seems to have a? spoiler — it gives away the ending (he changes his mind).? A logline should never contain a spoiler.
Also, that he changes his mind when he realizes things are better now than 50 years ago doesn’t ring emotionally true.? Obviously, things are not better for him.?? How bad things were 50 years ago doesn’t discount how bad it is for him NOW.? What matters is the emotional experience of the character in the present tense of the story.
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