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Jesus Christ living under an alias is brutalized by two police officers and decides to fight back bringing him face to face with his estranged daughter a sergeant in SWAT. Their confrontation will decide whether humanity lives or dies.
A provocative and perplexing premise. I'm not sure it's a marketable one.And I don't see how the very survival of humanity is at stake.? It's JC vs the Cops. How does everyone else get caught in the cross-fire?? Why must everyone else get caught up in the altercation?And since the genre is describedRead more
A provocative and perplexing premise. I’m not sure it’s a marketable one.
And I don’t see how the very survival of humanity is at stake.? It’s JC vs the Cops. How does everyone else get caught in the cross-fire?? Why must everyone else get caught up in the altercation?
And since the genre is described as Sci-Fi, it is a JC living in an alternate universe?
See lessAfter a crisis of faith forces him to leave his 17-year career, a restless pastor must create a new tribe for himself and the other spiritually homeless.
There may be an interesting drama here, but it's hard for me to get a grip on what the story is about. The logline lacks a clearly defined inciting incident.? For the purpose of plotting, the spiritual crisis is not the inciting incident.? It is not the First Cause that sets the plot in motion.? RatRead more
There may be an interesting drama here, but it’s hard for me to get a grip on what the story is about.
The logline lacks a clearly defined inciting incident.? For the purpose of plotting, the spiritual crisis is not the inciting incident.? It is not the First Cause that sets the plot in motion.? Rather it is a consequence, the result of a traumatic suffering, a shocking discovery, a terrible setback — some event that shatters the pastor’s world and world view and causes him to question his faith.? That event is the inciting incident.? What is it?
Also, I notice that the logline indicates that while he leaves his profession, he does not abandon his calling.? He still believes he has been called to be a shepherd? of men,? a spiritual leader.? But now he’s looking to round up a new flock to follow him, one composed of spiritual sheep wandering in the wilderness of doubt and despair.
It’s typical for fallen spiritual leaders to believe they still have a calling , no matter how far from grace they have fallen.? As Robert Duvall? portrayed on in his 1997 film “The Apostle”, where the? protagonist is? deeply flawed,? a womanizer, a drinker,? who never abandons his faith in his calling no matter how? may times he strays off the strait and narrow path of righteousness.? (Which is frequently and greatly.)
What is this pastor’s character flaw?? What personal problem must he overcome to achieve his goal of raising up a new flock?? (His spiritual crisis is a problem that may arise from a character flaw, but by itself it does not constitute a flaw.)
fwiw
See lessA young writer tries to accurately research her novel by getting pregnant and having an abortion, only to find out that she is infertile.
End of story.Or is it the beginning?? And if so, what does she do now?? ?What becomes her objective goal?? ? The logline sets up a situation for a plot -- but doesn't follow through with a plot.Consult the guidelines under the "Our formula" link at the top of the web page for guidelines on writing aRead more
End of story.
Or is it the beginning?? And if so, what does she do now?? ?What becomes her objective goal?? ? The logline sets up a situation for a plot — but doesn’t follow through with a plot.
Consult the guidelines under the “Our formula” link at the top of the web page for guidelines on writing an industry standard logline.
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