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  1. Posted: April 7, 2018In: Comedy

    A devious and successful career Mum is forced to confront her prejudices as her transgender son and her Swedish aupair gang up to provide the requested sumptuous banquet for her terribly important dinner guests..

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 7, 2018 at 10:26 am

    Who is the protagonist?? That is, who is in the driver's seat of the story, the mum or the transgender son ?? Seems to me that the son is the more proactive character, the mother the reacting one.? ?Whoever is the more proactive character is the protagonist and the logline should lead off and be fraRead more

    Who is the protagonist?? That is, who is in the driver’s seat of the story, the mum or the transgender son ?? Seems to me that the son is the more proactive character, the mother the reacting one.? ?Whoever is the more proactive character is the protagonist and the logline should lead off and be framed in terms of that character.

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: April 7, 2018In: Crime

    When an innocent prisoner becomes a criminal on his failed attempt to break out of jail, it’s upto his freed partner-in-crime to prove his innocence and take false blame during their jail break

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 7, 2018 at 8:59 am

    As Richiev said.It's difficult for me to sort out what the story is really about.? The fact that both of them start out in jail means they are at least accused of being guilty of some crime -- otherwise why would they be in jail?

    As Richiev said.

    It’s difficult for me to sort out what the story is really about.? The fact that both of them start out in jail means they are at least accused of being guilty of some crime — otherwise why would they be in jail?

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  3. Posted: April 5, 2018In: Examples

    After allied bombing accidentally destroys her safehouse, a jew joins the dutch resistance, only to face a series of deception

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 7, 2018 at 8:16 am

    The logline? fails to? explicitly supply the protagonist with an objective goal. I haven't seen the film (yet).? But gleaning from the IMBD summary and reviews, how about something like:After Allied bombing forces her to come out of hiding, a Jewish woman joins the Dutch resistance and weaves a webRead more

    The logline? fails to? explicitly supply the protagonist with an objective goal. I haven’t seen the film (yet).? But gleaning from the IMBD summary and reviews, how about something like:

    After Allied bombing forces her to come out of hiding, a Jewish woman joins the Dutch resistance and weaves a web of deception to infiltrate the German high command and collect vital military?intelligence.
    (34 words)

    Longish,? but it establishes a clearer cause and effect relationship between the bombing and the resulting action.

    Or maybe;

    After Allied bombing forces her to come out of hiding, a Jewish woman joins the Dutch resistance and infiltrates the German high command to collect vital military?intelligence.
    (26 words)

    Obviously, she would have use deception and trickery to infiltrate.

    fwiw

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