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A self-centered, up-and-coming actor is about to have his once-in-a-lifetime ?big break? meeting with a control-freak star-director but his neurotic casual-girlfriend reveals that she?s pregnant, unplanned, certain he?s the father, potentially bringing everything he?s worked for crashing down, causing him to morally juggle his priorities.
Yes, the logline is too long.Still, I think there's a? kernel of a story here.? But I see it differently than how it is framed in the logline.? I think his subjective need is not to "morally juggle his priorities".? His subjective need is to overcome his character flaw , his egocentricity; he needsRead more
Yes, the logline is too long.
Still, I think there’s a? kernel of a story here.? But I see it differently than how it is framed in the logline.? I think his subjective need is not to “morally juggle his priorities”.? His subjective need is to overcome his character flaw , his egocentricity; he needs to? man up and assume the responsibilities, embrace the opportunities of fatherhood.
But in loglines, the focus is on struggles for objective goals, not struggles with subjective problems.? And that is what the logline lacks.? Given his predicament, what is his objective goal?
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Agree with variable,? the last part seems vague.? ?And it will make the difference between shelf and sold. Loglines are about telling -- not teasing.
Agree with variable,? the last part seems vague.? ?And it will make the difference between shelf and sold.
Loglines are about telling — not teasing.
See lessAn exiled man falls in love with a woman he’s meant to kill, a 157 year old woman on the run from the authorities.
>>>In Carella City ageing can be postponed but never vanquished, until Karl meets Penelope who hasn?t aged for over 150 years.Okay, that sets up the situation for a plot.? Now what is the plot that follows?? Specifically, what? is Karl's objective goal?? Because the vector of the plot? is dRead more
>>>In Carella City ageing can be postponed but never vanquished, until Karl meets Penelope who hasn?t aged for over 150 years.
Okay, that sets up the situation for a plot.? Now what is the plot that follows?? Specifically, what? is Karl’s objective goal?? Because the vector of the plot? is determined by what? one character, more than any other — the protagonist — desperately wants.
And btw, as a rule, character names are not given in loglines for fictional stories.? Rather the protagonist is defined in terms of a defining characteristic, usually a character flaw.? A flaw he will eventually have to overcome to achieve his objective goal.
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