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  1. Posted: April 7, 2018In: Fantasy

    A sleepaholic student from Los Angeles is determined to find the girl in his dreams, eventually leading him to a spiritual world called soul space, an intermediate dimension which exists between heaven and hell

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 7, 2018 at 4:55 am

    >> she intentionally...In other words,? she provides the inciting incident.? That should be part of the logline, that her inexplicable and persistent manifestation in of his dreams triggers his quest to find her in his waking life.Also, the setting, Los Angeles, is? not necessary in the loglinRead more

    >> she intentionally…

    In other words,? she provides the inciting incident.? That should be part of the logline, that her inexplicable and persistent manifestation in of his dreams triggers his quest to find her in his waking life.

    Also, the setting, Los Angeles, is? not necessary in the logline.??

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  2. Posted: April 7, 2018In: Crime

    In his case vs the state, when a broke criminal lawyer realises he’s infact defending a criminal, he faces an ethical fight

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 7, 2018 at 3:16 am

    >Since if he cannot afford to lose this case being broke Why not?? ?I thought defense lawyer were paid by fee, not by results.? ?That's standard operating procedure.? So he will get paid no matter what the outcome.? ?(The only exception? might be if the client is rich enough to offer a bonus forRead more

    >Since if he cannot afford to lose this case being broke

    Why not?? ?I thought defense lawyer were paid by fee, not by results.? ?That’s standard operating procedure.? So he will get paid no matter what the outcome.? ?(The only exception? might be if the client is rich enough to offer a bonus for getting him acquitted — and the lawyer desperately needs that bonus.)

    The predicament presented in this logline is one that comes with the profession.? And lawyers know that from their classes in criminal law.? So the protagonist knows that it’s the ethical responsibility as a lawyer to give his client the best defense he can.? ? If he can’t, he needs to find another line of work.

    Finally, several movies have already been made about? this predicament , most notably “,,,, and Justice for All” which has the plot hook that of a defense lawyer forced to defend a guilty judge.? And that, I suggest, is what this concept needs, a fresh twist, an irresistible hook like that.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: April 6, 2018In: Noir

    An exiled man falls in love with a woman he’s meant to kill, a 157 year old woman on the run from the authorities.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 6, 2018 at 11:49 pm

    >>>In Carella City, people are able to prolong ageing for 50 years, the result being everyone looks 18, but the cost is that after 50 years their bodies rapidly decompose over the next few months.There's your story hook and the logline needs to be framed accordingly.? You can't just throw iRead more

    >>>In Carella City, people are able to prolong ageing for 50 years, the result being everyone looks 18, but the cost is that after 50 years their bodies rapidly decompose over the next few months.

    There’s your story hook and the logline needs to be framed accordingly.? You can’t just throw in “157 year old woman” without some context because it sends the minds of readers off the rails.? ?WTF?? They don’t want to know about a man falling in love with a woman he’s supposed to kill. They want to know how it’s possible for her to be so old?

    This can be a daunting task in loglines for sci-fi, fantasy genre? stories:? the plot takes place in the context of a strange new world.with unfamiliar rule s. You gotta set up the world as you set up the plot.? Concisely.? No easy task, and? it may not be possible for you to do in 25 words.? Particularly as your concept has s-o-o-o many plot twists and turns, assays to explore s-o-o-o many ideas.?

    But you should be able to lay out the bare bones spine of the story in 25 words or less (which does not have to include every required logline element).? What is the single, unifying bare bones spine on which every other bone, every character,? every plot beat, and? the theme hangs?

    fwiw

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