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  1. Posted: April 5, 2018In: Thriller

    A paraplegic woman, with no memory what happened, investigates her own past and collides with a nocturnal vigilante who may hold the answers.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 6, 2018 at 8:35 am

    Agree with Nir Shelter.? A logline is a blatant sales pitch,? not a teaser,; it's no place to hide or merely imply a key story element.? Logline readers? are industry deal makers who want to know in no uncertain terms what the story is about. Which is another way of saying they want to know exactlyRead more

    Agree with Nir Shelter.? A logline is a blatant sales pitch,? not a teaser,; it’s no place to hide or merely imply a key story element.? Logline readers? are industry deal makers who want to know in no uncertain terms what the story is about. Which is another way of saying they want to know exactly what objective goal the protagonist is pursuing.

    What is her objective goal in searching her past?? What is the dramatic problem she MUST solve?

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  2. Posted: April 6, 2018In: Comedy

    Logline: A total womanizer transforms his female best friend from clinger to player, finds himself attracted to his new creation but has taught her a little too well.

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    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 6, 2018 at 8:23 am

    Very good points by candersonm.The plot seems to be a variant of the ancient myth of Pygmalion. (A good modern example is the musical? "My Fair Lady" inspired by the play "Pygmalion" by George Bernard Shaw).The standard way it plays out is through ironic reversal whereby the "creator" falls in loveRead more

    Very good points by candersonm.

    The plot seems to be a variant of the ancient myth of Pygmalion. (A good modern example is the musical? “My Fair Lady” inspired by the play “Pygmalion” by George Bernard Shaw).

    The standard way it plays out is through ironic reversal whereby the “creator” falls in love with his “creation”.? But he is too successful in molding her in the image of his idea of an ideal woman.? He loses control of and is bested by his “creation”.

    “…finds himself attracted to his new creation but has taught her a little too well.”? seems generic and vague.? Exactly how has he taught her all too well?? I seems to me the story needs a? unique angle, a specific fresh take and? a specific new and interesting way she has bested him.

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  3. Posted: April 6, 2018In: Drama

    When his own handgun is used to kill his partner, an unassuming detective defies the police department by refusing to carry a gun, even as he pursues the killer.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 6, 2018 at 8:14 am

    Law enforcement agencies do have rules.? And they do require sworn officers (which detectives are) to carry a firearm on duty in the field.? Refusal to do so is grounds for immediate suspension; persistent refusal is grounds for firing.? Bottom line:? if he refuses to carry a gun in the field, thatRead more

    Law enforcement agencies do have rules.? And they do require sworn officers (which detectives are) to carry a firearm on duty in the field.? Refusal to do so is grounds for immediate suspension; persistent refusal is grounds for firing.? Bottom line:? if he refuses to carry a gun in the field, that i s likely to be the end of his career in law enforcement.

    Dramas can and have to take creative liberties, but there are limits to what one can get away with and still maintain the patina of credibility.? I just don’t find this realistic.

    fwiw

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