1. Posted: March 21, 2018In:

    Revision #2: When a depressed drunk he assists claims to be a cupid, a widowered psychiatrist who?s forgotten how to feel love must see the world through the drunk’s eyes to uncover the truth and help him find a reason to live again.

    dpg Singularity

    Thanks for the clarification.>>>drinking is a symptom of the depressionWell...? It is also the case that the drunk has to be a person who is vulnerable to abusing alcohol.? Any reason, any excuse will do.? Because there are other people who suffer from depression but don't resort to gettingRead more

    Thanks for the clarification.

    >>>drinking is a symptom of the depression

    Well…? It is also the case that the drunk has to be a person who is vulnerable to abusing alcohol.? Any reason, any excuse will do.? Because there are other people who suffer from depression but don’t resort to getting drunk.? So? it seems to me?to be accurate to say the the therapist’s objective goal is also to sober up the drunk.? His alcoholism entails his depression.

    And, more important for the script,? whether you believe his primary problem is drinking or depression, getting and staying sober is the objective indicator that the shrink has succeeded in helping the drunk.? (What other objective indicator could there be?)

    BTW:? I suggest another reason why it is not necessary to discuss the therapist’s subjective need in the logline.? And that is, it is not the story hook, the factor that will make movie makers sit up , pique their interest in the script.

    The story hook is a drunk who thinks he’s cupid.? That’s what piqued my interest.? Not the therapist’s personal problems. Just as in “Equus” the story hook is not that the shrink is burned out, trapped in a loveless, passionless marriage.? The story hook is that he’s asked to treat a teenager who has blinded six horses.

    And in real life,? a similar hook was what inspired the author, Peter Schaffer, to write the play.? He heard about an shocking incident where a stable boy had attacked some horses under his charge.? This piqued his interest, got his creative juices flowing.? ?He knew no other details , never found an explanation for the? crime.

    It seemed incomprehensible to him.? So,? as he says in his introduction to the published version of the play,? he set out to “create a mental world in which the deed could be comprehensible.”

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  2. Posted: March 21, 2018In:

    A Rebellious Saharan Princess, escapes the palace to search for her abducted mother, but discovers she is the key to the survival or enslavement of the world.

    dpg Singularity

    What is the ethnic identity of the princess?? Is she northern Saharan (Arabic) or southern Saharan (Black)?Given the region where you are setting the story, her ethnic identity is no minor detail.? It will be critical in casting and marketing the film. Even if the genre is fantasy.Just saying.

    What is the ethnic identity of the princess?? Is she northern Saharan (Arabic) or southern Saharan (Black)?

    Given the region where you are setting the story, her ethnic identity is no minor detail.? It will be critical in casting and marketing the film. Even if the genre is fantasy.

    Just saying.

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  3. Posted: March 21, 2018In:

    When a young man washes-up dead in a desolate coastal town, his self-centred estranged mother must fight against apathy and hostility to uncover the truth, at the risk of exposing her own culpability.

    dpg Singularity

    >>>the reveal that the drowned man is the protagonist?s son comes at the inciting incident ? there?s mystery up until that point as to what relationship,In the script , you can certainly open with nobody knowing the ID of the washed-up body.? For the purpose of a logline,? where economy ofRead more

    >>>the reveal that the drowned man is the protagonist?s son comes at the inciting incident ? there?s mystery up until that point as to what relationship,

    In the script , you can certainly open with nobody knowing the ID of the washed-up body.? For the purpose of a logline,? where economy of words is paramount (less is more, fewer is better),? it isn’t necessary.? Rather, it’s superfluous.?A logline begins with the inciting incident. — not with with happens before that plot beat.

    So CraigDGriffiths lead off –” When her estranged son is found dead” — does the job.

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