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Due to IVF and genetic changes humanity only exist in the future as twins or multiple births. A self-proclaimed leader decides that the natural balance has to be restored by what he calls natural selection. The tormented genius ?Daggy? Pollux fights against the execution of his love interest who’s been selected as the weaker one.
Agree with Nir Shelter.? The more interesting conflict is between the twins.? I suggest focusing on that.
Agree with Nir Shelter.? The more interesting conflict is between the twins.? I suggest focusing on that.
See lessSet in a mythical time in precolonial America, when a race of demons begin killing humans in their sleep and replacing them with duplicates, a naive hunter must work with his tribal enemies to stop the monsters before they are taken next.
A basic challenge with fantasy and SciFi stories is that they take place in imaginary worlds with special rules and extraordinary beings and events that have to be defined and explained before anyone can comprehend what is going on. Alas, this logline is overloaded with "WTF?" elements that have toRead more
A basic challenge with fantasy and SciFi stories is that they take place in imaginary worlds with special rules and extraordinary beings and events that have to be defined and explained before anyone can comprehend what is going on.
Alas, this logline is overloaded with “WTF?” elements that have to be? explained before it’s possible to understand what the story is about.? Like:
>>mythical time
“Mythical”?
>>in precolonial America
Where? in North America, Central America, South America
>>race of demons
Where did they come from?
>>killing humans in their sleep and replacing them with duplicates
What triggered them to start doing that? What is the point, the purpose of their replacing humans?
>>to stop the monsters
How is that even remotely possible?? How will brokering an alliance with rival tribes make any difference?? Mere humans are going up against magical monsters.
A logline should raise curiosity about? how the plot ends, not questions about what the plot is about.
fwiw
See lessWhen an arcane creature disembowels several Asian women in 1900s San Francisco, a war-weary army officer must team with a disparate group of social outcasts to expose the corrupt city leaders behind the monster?s bloodbath.
The genre is horror -- not mystery.? So I think horror ought to be the focal point in the logline.And since the story seems to be told from the pov of the protagonist, the logline should only contain information the protagonist is aware of at the time of inciting incident.? That a corrupt politicianRead more
The genre is horror — not mystery.? So I think horror ought to be the focal point in the logline.
And since the story seems to be told from the pov of the protagonist, the logline should only contain information the protagonist is aware of at the time of inciting incident.? That a corrupt politician is behind seems to be? the Big Discovery. To include it in the logline would be a spoiler and loglines should not contain a spoiler.
See less