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  1. Posted: January 23, 2018In: Fantasy

    When they accidentally unfreeze a war party, two cavemen brothers must go with them to the lair of a savage yeti tribe to rescue and awaken the only goddess who can end the ice age.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 24, 2018 at 11:27 am

    >>>When they accidentally unfreeze a war party, two cavemen brothers must go..Why must they go?? What step in the cause-and-effect logic am I not seeing here?>>>to rescue and awaken the only goddessHow can a goddess who needs to be rescued be potent enough to turn back the ice age?Read more

    >>>When they accidentally unfreeze a war party, two cavemen brothers must go..

    Why must they go?? What step in the cause-and-effect logic am I not seeing here?

    >>>to rescue and awaken the only goddess

    How can a goddess who needs to be rescued be potent enough to turn back the ice age?? If she can’t rescue herself, how can it be that she has the power to rescue everyone else?

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  2. Posted: January 24, 2018In: Drama

    Due to IVF and genetic changes humanity only exist in the future as twins or multiple births. A self-proclaimed leader decides that the natural balance has to be restored by what he calls natural selection. The tormented genius ?Daggy? Pollux fights against the execution of his love interest who’s been selected as the weaker one.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 24, 2018 at 11:08 am

    What hooks my interest is the story is the concept that identical twins are forced to fight to the death.?This already happens in a nature with other species, btw.? ?For example, shark embryos cannibalize other embryos in utero.? So there's the analogue and justification by adult powers-that-be forRead more

    What hooks my interest is the story is the concept that identical twins are forced to fight to the death.?This already happens in a nature with other species, btw.? ?For example, shark embryos cannibalize other embryos in utero.? So there’s the analogue and justification by adult powers-that-be for setting twin brothers and sisters against each other.

    It’s another version of the rite of passage trope; in this case for the right to live.

    fwiw.

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  3. Posted: January 24, 2018In: Horror

    When an arcane creature disembowels several Asian women in 1900s San Francisco, a war-weary army officer must team with a disparate group of social outcasts to expose the corrupt city leaders behind the monster?s bloodbath.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on January 24, 2018 at 10:48 am

    >>>to expose the corrupt city leaders behind the monster?s bloodbathWhat about taking out the creature?? Isn't that priority #1, the central conflict that drives the story?? If so, the logline should be framed in terms of? the central conflict.? If not, why isn't taking out the creature theRead more

    >>>to expose the corrupt city leaders behind the monster?s bloodbath

    What about taking out the creature?? Isn’t that priority #1, the central conflict that drives the story?? If so, the logline should be framed in terms of? the central conflict.? If not, why isn’t taking out the creature the central conflict?? ?

    And in the process discover the conspiracy behind the creature.? This is what’s called in drama “discovering the mountain beyond the mountain”.? The protagonist reaches his original objective goal in the 2nd half of the plot only to discover there’s another problem he must solve that’s causally related to the original problem — the mountain beyond the mountain.

    In such scenarios, the logline would still be written in terms of the 1st objective goal, not the additional goal discovered later.

    fwiw

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