1. Posted: January 19, 2018In:

    “Claudia V?zquez is the most prestigious and reputed parapsychologist in Spain today, who from her early years until her maturity will not stop from facing the paranormal, until having a surprising and disconcerting final confrontation.”

    dpg Singularity

    At the others have said. Unfortunately, the logline buries and obfuscates the lead, the inciting incident. "Until having a surprising and disconcerting final confrontation? belongs at the beginning, not the end.? And the "confronation" needs to be specifically defined.? And then how she must respondRead more

    At the others have said.

    Unfortunately, the logline buries and obfuscates the lead, the inciting incident. “Until having a surprising and disconcerting final confrontation? belongs at the beginning, not the end.? And the “confronation” needs to be specifically defined.? And then how she must respond to it; IOW: what becomes her objective goal as a result.

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  2. Posted: January 19, 2018In:

    A phone operator at a suicide prevention hotline becomes overwhelmed when three desperate people all call at the same time. *SHORT*

    dpg Singularity

    There is plenty of drama working on the suicide hotline.I know from personal experience.?I've had a 2nd suicide call come in while handling the 1st.? But after 3 rings the 2nd rolled over to another hot line.That's the way the national suicide hotline number (1-800-273-8255) is configured? to work.?Read more

    There is plenty of drama working on the suicide hotline.

    I know from personal experience.?I’ve had a 2nd suicide call come in while handling the 1st.? But after 3 rings the 2nd rolled over to another hot line.

    That’s the way the national suicide hotline number (1-800-273-8255) is configured? to work.? It sends the call? to the hotline in the area code (or the nearest area code) of the? person in distress.? If that hotline is busy, it rolls over to another available hotline in the suicide hotline network.? (I’ve handled re-routed calls from coast to coast.)

    IOW: the national suicide hotline network in the U.S. has been designed to avoid the scenario in the logline.

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  3. Posted: January 17, 2018In:

    A lat-night diner waitress bites off more than she can chew when she tries role-playing with two estranged brothers.

    dpg Singularity

    Wyatt_Lamoureux:>>>This 20-minute piece shoots in spring,Oh.? Now that I know that, I wish to modify some of what I said previously.Unless informed otherwise, my feedback assumes that a logline is for a full length feature film because that is the purpose of most of the loglines posted hereRead more

    Wyatt_Lamoureux:

    >>>This 20-minute piece shoots in spring,

    Oh.? Now that I know that, I wish to modify some of what I said previously.

    Unless informed otherwise, my feedback assumes that a logline is for a full length feature film because that is the purpose of most of the loglines posted here.? That is also the default assumption of the guidelines posted under the “Our Formula” link at the top of the web page.

    Now then. In a feature film (100-120 minutes) the entirety of the 1st Act, about 25-30 minutes, is devoted to setting up the objective goal the protagonist will pursue in? Acts 2 and 3.? But your short will be over with in less time than that!? So do the guidelines for the standard formula fully apply to your project?

    My provisional opinion is:? mostly.? I think the general 3 Act structure in terms of the dynamics of the action still apply albeit in a very compressed form.? That is, set up a protagonist with a dramatic problem [Act 1];? stir complications into the plot [Act 2] that builds tension to a? climax and denouement [Act 3].

    Therefore, I suggest that even for a short, a logline should clearly ID the protagonist in terms of a defining characteristic (usually a flaw or vulnerability).? And I suggest the logline should clearly indicate the inciting incident that sets the story motion.? Sets the story in motion in terms of a dramatic problem that the protagonist must solve.? To wit, the protagonist’s implicit objective goal,

    That said, imho, the most important element a logline for your short — for a film of any length — is a good hook that immediately grabs and holds a logline reader’s interest.

    Alas, it is my impression that phrases like “tries role playing” and? “mind games” conceal more than reveal what the story hook might be.? I encourage you to reveal the hook , flaunt it, dangle it out there in front of my eyes, like you would a baited hook for a fish.

    fwiw

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