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Due to IVF and genetic changes humanity only exist in the future as twins or multiple births. A self-proclaimed leader decides that the natural balance has to be restored by what he calls natural selection. The tormented genius ?Daggy? Pollux fights against the execution of his love interest who’s been selected as the weaker one.
>>but that would make people think of the hunger games. What distinguishes this from the "Hunger Games".? What is the m.o. by which losers are chosen to die? >>his love interest who?s been selected as the weaker one. This seems to deflect the real central conflict of the story:? twins foRead more
>>but that would make people think of the hunger games.
What distinguishes this from the “Hunger Games”.? What is the m.o. by which losers are chosen to die?
>>his love interest who?s been selected as the weaker one.
This seems to deflect the real central conflict of the story:? twins forced to compete against each other. Katniss Everdeen is another character’s love interest.? But that is a complication, not the central conflict that drives the story.
What is the central conflict that drives your story?
See lessA greedy bounty hunter falsely accused of regicide must race against outlaws to earn a wish and clear his name.
The "wish-granting land" seems to keep tripping up logline readers.The concept is hard to grasp because it refers to some vague place rather than a wish granting person (like a fairy or a wizard).? How can a place grant a wish? Doesn't that require some kind of consciousness to be able to do so.? AnRead more
The “wish-granting land” seems to keep tripping up logline readers.
The concept is hard to grasp because it refers to some vague place rather than a wish granting person (like a fairy or a wizard).? How can a place grant a wish? Doesn’t that require some kind of consciousness to be able to do so.? And if there is a consciousness, how can a place have a mind of its own?
It also run counters to the current conventions of drama (even fantasy) where it the dramatic job of the protagonist to make his own wishes come true.? He can’t outsource it to some other person, place or thing.? Or if he can, it has ironic, unintended, negative consequences; hence, it doesn’t represent the final solution, only a further compounding of his dramatic predicament.
A logline should create curiosity, not confusion.? I suggest that if you intend to stay with a wish-granting place rather than a person, drop it from the logline and introduce and develop it in the script.? Because it’s going to take considerable exposition to sell the idea to an audience, to answer all the questions it raises.? And the purpose of a logline is to sell a story — not explain it.
fwiw
See lessA phone operator at a suicide prevention hotline becomes overwhelmed when three desperate people all call at the same time. *SHORT*
Thanks for the link, Nir Shelter.? "The Phone Call' wasn't just nominated for an Oscar. It won. So you definitely had a worthy subject, Foxtrot25.Here's my take on a logline for the film:A lonely counselor for a suicide hotline struggles to save the life of a lonely caller who has overdosed on pillsRead more
Thanks for the link, Nir Shelter.? “The Phone Call’ wasn’t just nominated for an Oscar. It won. So you definitely had a worthy subject, Foxtrot25.
Here’s my take on a logline for the film:
A lonely counselor for a suicide hotline struggles to save the life of a lonely caller who has overdosed on pills.
(21 words)
Notes:
See less“Lonely” signals the implied ironic character arc/subjective issue.? That he’s overdosed embeds a ticking clock into the plot.