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When an exiled prince unexpectedly becomes ruler in a foreign kingdom, he must make dangerous alliances if he is to survive the vampire Emperor who murdered his parents.
It's difficult to offer useful advice because you are writing about an imaginary world that only exists in your head so there is no way either I or any other logline reader can immediately grasp the "magical" rules of that world and make sense of the flow of events.That said, while revenge is alwaysRead more
It’s difficult to offer useful advice because you are writing about an imaginary world that only exists in your head so there is no way either I or any other logline reader can immediately grasp the “magical” rules of that world and make sense of the flow of events.
That said, while revenge is always a good motivator of the objective goal and the resulting action, in this instance I do not believe it is sufficient.? Not sufficient because of the special role of your protagonist.? He’s royalty whose right to rule has been usurped. The natural order has been overthrown. So it seems to me that his dramatic task, his destiny is to restore the natural order of his country and save his people from the vampire Emperor.? Which entails his overthrowing the usurping Emperor and reclaim his rightful throne.? After all, isn’t that why the usurpers want him dead?
IOW: the ultimate stakes.
The protagonist is a man of destiny. And it seems to me that the logline ought to at least implicitly lay out the ultimate stakes in terms of the protagonist’s ultimate destiny.
fwiw
See lessWhen an exiled prince unexpectedly becomes ruler in a foreign kingdom, he must make dangerous alliances if he is to survive the vampire Emperor who murdered his parents.
And how much of that narrative takes place in the pilot episode?
And how much of that narrative takes place in the pilot episode?
See lessA small town reporter tells a little white-lie to boost his ego and it snowballs out of controll. He must now make that lie a reality or be shamed out of town.
Agree with savinh0 that "white lie" is not specific enough to give a logline reader a focused view as to where the story is going to go.? Which a logline should do.? It needs to be spelled out.? Ditto with the objective goal.
Agree with savinh0 that “white lie” is not specific enough to give a logline reader a focused view as to where the story is going to go.? Which a logline should do.? It needs to be spelled out.? Ditto with the objective goal.
See less