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When an orphaned dropout joins an off-grid commune to evade a hometown scandal, but secretly returns to claim an inheritance, he must fight off reporters and protestors who follow him and destroy his commune, which he must rebuild with his windfall.
A logline (and ?plot) should be organized around one ?spine -- one?life changing inciting incident that triggers one? unified action line ?toward one objective goal. ? Unfortunately, this logline and plot seems to have several spines.1] ?The character drops off the grid (action) to evade scandal (goRead more
A logline (and ?plot) should be organized around one ?spine — one?life changing inciting incident that triggers one? unified action line ?toward one objective goal. ? Unfortunately, this logline and plot seems to have several spines.
1] ?The character drops off the grid (action) to evade scandal (goal).
2] The character returns (action) to claim an inheritance (goal).
3] The character must fight off reporters and protesters (action) to rebuild the commune (goal) with his windfall.
Well, which one constitutes the central and singular spine that defines the plot? ? What is the story really about?
See lessWhen a group of argonauts go missing during the California Gold Rush, a solitary hunter must lead a relief party to the claim where a dangerous beast guards a vast fortune.
I would just say prospectors. And I would suggest it would be more accurate (hence credible) to say"gold mine" or perhaps even "mother lode of all mother lodes of gold ore" Does the group know they are going to face a monsterous beast (not the legendary Big Foot?) ?when they finally find the claim?Read more
I would just say prospectors.
And I would suggest it would be more accurate (hence credible) to say”gold mine” or perhaps even “mother lode of all mother lodes of gold ore”
Does the group know they are going to face a monsterous beast (not the legendary Big Foot?) ?when they finally find the claim? ?Or is that what they discover after they find the claim?
See lessWhen a group of argonauts go missing during the California Gold Rush, a solitary hunter must lead a relief party to the claim where a dangerous beast guards a vast fortune.
Argonauts usually refers the men who sailed with Jason in search of the Gold Fleece in distant, mythological times. The use of the term in the time setting of the 19th century California Gold Rush is confusing. ?Please clarify. ?Is this story a 19th century re-telling/reworking of that ancient myth,Read more
Argonauts usually refers the men who sailed with Jason in search of the Gold Fleece in distant, mythological times. The use of the term in the time setting of the 19th century California Gold Rush is confusing. ?Please clarify. ?Is this story a 19th century re-telling/reworking of that ancient myth, or what?
See less