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When a grandson running from a media scandal ends up joining a commune, he is encouraged to visit his hometown and claim what’s his, to his surprise, an inheritance left by his adopted grandparents. But when he finds himself fighting off TV reporters who follow him to his new commune, he realizes that by publicly accepting a family secret, he can thwart them off indefinitely and claim leadership of a new commune he builds with his windfall.
At 77 words, this is a summary, not a logline. ?And a rather convoluted one. ?And most of it seems to belong in the backstory. ? Simplify, simplify, simplify. ?Not easy to do, ?I grant you, but absolutely necessary in a logline.In no more than 12 words: ?what does the protagonist want to do? ?What iRead more
At 77 words, this is a summary, not a logline. ?And a rather convoluted one. ?And most of it seems to belong in the backstory. ? Simplify, simplify, simplify. ?Not easy to do, ?I grant you, but absolutely necessary in a logline.
In no more than 12 words: ?what does the protagonist want to do? ?What is his objective goal?
See lessIn no more than 12 words, what is the inciting incident that triggers his pursuit of that goal?
In no more than 12 words, who/what opposes him?
After a senior Barrister is entrapped by his own client, to recover control of his life, he must convince a Judge to set aside the client?s murder acquittal.
As Richiev indicated, it's better if the nature of the blackmail is more explicit.Also, ?the Barrister in the role of the protagonist doesn't have an ?objective goal a movie audience would root for. ?How is getting the murderer off the legal meat hook going to evoke a positive emotional catharsis? ?Read more
As Richiev indicated, it’s better if the nature of the blackmail is more explicit.
Also, ?the Barrister in the role of the protagonist doesn’t have an ?objective goal a movie audience would root for. ?How is getting the murderer off the legal meat hook going to evoke a positive emotional catharsis? ?Just saying.
See lessA dracula who hates killing people for blood finds a companionship in a coward son of a gangster.
>>>It?s a story of two guysSo it's an Odd Couple/buddy film.Even so, I think it's best to frame the logline around the vampire because he is a far more interesting character. ?And his dramatic predicament seem far more urgent than that of the gangster.Also, what is the dramatic glue, the coRead more
>>>It?s a story of two guys
So it’s an Odd Couple/buddy film.
Even so, I think it’s best to frame the logline around the vampire because he is a far more interesting character. ?And his dramatic predicament seem far more urgent than that of the gangster.
Also, what is the dramatic glue, the common need, the binds these two characters in the same plot? ?It’s not obvious how each could help the other. ? ?What does the gangster have that the vampire needs, that he can’t find in anyone else, ?to solve his dramatic problem? ?Conversely, what does the vampire have that the gangster needs, can’t find anywhere else, to solve his dramatic problem?
>>>son of a famous gangster
Better if he’s pitched as the son of a ruthless gangster — IOW: the son is in mortal jeopardy.
fwiw
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