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  1. Posted: August 29, 2017In: Drama

    An uptight business man races against the clock to find a way out of purgatory or risks to lose his life.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 31, 2017 at 2:55 am

    Foxtrot 25's rewrite is definitely an improvement.My tweak: ?When an overworked Grim Reaper mistakenly sends an overworked business man...Play on the parallel irony. ?The ?Grim Reaper uses the same excuse to neglect remedying the business man's predicament, as the business man does in neglecting a pRead more

    Foxtrot 25’s rewrite is definitely an improvement.

    My tweak: ?When an overworked Grim Reaper mistakenly sends an overworked business man…

    Play on the parallel irony. ?The ?Grim Reaper uses the same excuse to neglect remedying the business man’s predicament, as the business man does in neglecting a predicament he has created for his family. ?What goes around comes around.

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  2. Posted: August 30, 2017In: Drama

    A lonely computer programmer?s unorthodox online search for ?Mr. Right? is terminated by the government, so she tries something radical?interfacing with a human.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 30, 2017 at 5:36 am

    I think there is a kernel for an interesting story, but I don't understand why the Big Bad Government (BBG) has to get involved in her love life. ?What are the stakes for the BBG that it has to shut her down?Why not just have her go retro, fall back on old-fashioned face time with real guys, becauseRead more

    I think there is a kernel for an interesting story, but I don’t understand why the Big Bad Government (BBG) has to get involved in her love life. ?What are the stakes for the BBG that it has to shut her down?

    Why not just have her go retro, fall back on old-fashioned face time with real guys, because on line match making hasn’t worked; it always matches her up with “Mr. Wrong”.

    I just don’t get the BBG conspiracy angle.?

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: August 27, 2017In: Adventure

    After sneaking out to attend the party of the year only to have things go horribly wrong, the straight-laced daughter of the police chief must employ criminal tactics to avoid being caught by the cops.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 30, 2017 at 3:12 am

    "Criminal tactics" seems vague. ?What exactly are the "criminal antics" she must engage in to get back home? ?Grand theft auto... assault and battery... murder?

    “Criminal tactics” seems vague. ?What exactly are the “criminal antics” she must engage in to get back home? ?Grand theft auto… assault and battery… murder?

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