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A young party girl finds herself lost in the woods and is confronted by a hoody who wants to frighten her with stories of the Suicide Forest.
The logline sets up a situation for a plot, but fails to follow through with presenting a plot. ' Who is protagonist, the party girl or the hoody? ?And what is the protagonist's objective goal? ?What's the obstacle and/or antagonist who stands in the way of that goal? And what's at stake?
The logline sets up a situation for a plot, but fails to follow through with presenting a plot.
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Who is protagonist, the party girl or the hoody? ?And what is the protagonist’s objective goal? ?What’s the obstacle and/or antagonist who stands in the way of that goal? And what’s at stake?
[Not a logline] Does the dark night of the soul occur in act 2, act 3 or in a secret middle place?
But, paradoxically, you have to know what the "rules" are in order to know how to break them.
But, paradoxically, you have to know what the “rules” are in order to know how to break them.
See lessAfter being a result of a failed superhuman strength enhancing experimentation. A young boy must find a way to escape and run away from his oppressive family of assassins in order to achieve his dream of living like an ordinary human being.
I think there is a potentially interesting story in the logline, but it needs clarification and, perhaps, refocusing. What is the 2nd Act about? ?His trying to escape? ?Or his trying to blend in as an ordinary human after he has escaped? For my ticket money, what happens after he escapes would be aRead more
I think there is a potentially interesting story in the logline, but it needs clarification and, perhaps, refocusing.
What is the 2nd Act about? ?His trying to escape? ?Or his trying to blend in as an ordinary human after he has escaped?
For my ticket money, what happens after he escapes would be a stronger hook, his struggle to blend in. ?That is, as a result of the experimentation, he’s been afflicted with some super flaw or super ability that presents an obstacle to his every being able to blend in an ordinary person.
IOW: what dramatic problem has the failed experiment left indelibly stamped on his psyche and/or physiognomy?
fwiw
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