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  1. Posted: June 15, 2017In: Action

    When a disaffected war hero takes control of a nuclear missile silo, the resourceful silo commander must take it back while hiding the fact that she is a Russian spy.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 16, 2017 at 12:17 am

    I don't see what the dramatic dilemma is here.A true dilemma is one where a character must choose between 2 courses of action, both of which are equally desirable or equally undesirable. ?Emphasis on equally: ?she's damned if she she does; she's damned if she doesn't. If the choices aren't weightedRead more

    I don’t see what the dramatic dilemma is here.

    A true dilemma is one where a character must choose between 2 courses of action, both of which are equally desirable or equally undesirable. ?Emphasis on equally: ?she’s damned if she she does; she’s damned if she doesn’t. If the choices aren’t weighted equally, then it’s not a true dramatic dilemma.

    I don’t see how having to overcome the war hero puts her in jeopardy of being revealed as a spy. ?Nor do I see how it conflicts with her spy mission. ?Surely, it is in the best interest of the country she spies for to defuse any situation that would trigger a nuclear war. ?She’s been planted as a spy to collect technical intelligence, ?not precipitate a nuclear war. ?Right?

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  2. Posted: June 15, 2017In: Romance

    Fallen in love with Christ, a young Muslim girl finds out that her existence depends upon her recognition of the truth – she’s in love with a non-existent person – her seek for truth only leads her to reveal her true nature – goodness and curiosity – questions asked and answered, her seek – immortality.

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    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 16, 2017 at 12:03 am

    The logline sets up the dramatic situation of a girl who falls in love with someone who turns out to be too good to be true -- he's a demon. ?That's a good story hook. But it's tricky in terms of a logline because the story hook concerns a reveal that (I assume) doesn't occur until at least midway tRead more

    The logline sets up the dramatic situation of a girl who falls in love with someone who turns out to be too good to be true — he’s a demon. ?That’s a good story hook.

    But it’s tricky in terms of a logline because the story hook concerns a reveal that (I assume) doesn’t occur until at least midway through the story. ?And the general rule is that logline only describes events in the 1st Act that set in motion a struggle for an objective goal.

    Further, a logline should never reveal how the story ends. ?A logline should set up a dramatic question– but it should never give away the answer to the dramatic question.

    So what is the dramatic question this story raises? ?When she realizes he’s a demon, what does must she do? ?What becomes her objective goal?

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  3. Posted: June 14, 2017In: Noir

    A secretly gay detective in the 1940’s must investigate the murder of the man with whom he had a love affair with.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 15, 2017 at 10:50 pm

    I think CraigDGriffiths makes an important point. ?His superiors and peers think it's a routine case, expect him to wrap it up quickly after a pro forma inquiry because, as CraigDGriffiths says, the victim was "only a fag, why do you care?" ?But he won't, he can't for reasons he can't confess to anyRead more

    I think CraigDGriffiths makes an important point. ?His superiors and peers think it’s a routine case, expect him to wrap it up quickly after a pro forma inquiry because, as CraigDGriffiths says, the victim was “only a fag, why do you care?” ?But he won’t, he can’t for reasons he can’t confess to anyone.

    And I always thought it would work better if they were still lovers, not ex-lovers. And both of them could be married, too.

    Whatever. The appeal of the premise is that there is no lack of ingredients to stir into the plot.

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